


Patient Sixteen

by SubtextEquals



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater, The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crossover, Dissociation, Graphic Description of Corpses, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misogyny, Past Character Death, Past Drug Use, Past Sexual Assault, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 11:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21243164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtextEquals/pseuds/SubtextEquals
Summary: When Gansey signs Ronan Lynch up for therapy, he chooses a specialist in the strange and unusual. Dr. Bright has seen many atypicals, but she's never met one quite like Ronan. Both of them have secrets and when they come into the light, those secrets may put Ronan in danger.A fic in script/podcast form.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please take note of warnings. Ronan's past trauma, including his suicidal ideation, is explored in depth. The subject matter is very emotional. If you're dealing with issues and unprepared for such an exploration, please don't read further. It will be here when you are in a better state. You always come first. Take care of yourself.
> 
> The formatting of the fic does not follow standard screenplay or podcast format because 1. I find it easier to read 2. I've been editing it off and on for two years. I just need to post it already.
> 
> This was written before "Opal" and is an AU set starting the summer following the events of The Raven King. It's also set before the start of The Bright Sessions.

**Cast**

Ronan Lynch - A troubled young man who is willing to fight everything but his own demons.  
Joan Bright - A troubled psychologist who must remember to place the well-being of her patients above her own interests.  
Adam Parrish - Ronan’s boyfriend. Do not be fooled by his commonplace appearance. He is more than what he seems.  
Gansey - The meddling best friend.  
Blue - The other meddling best friend.  
Henry - The back up dancer for the meddling best friends.  
Agent Green - Has a voice so pleasant you know he's trying to sell you something, kidnap you, or both.

**Patient #16, Session 1, May 26**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, unknown classification. The patient is an eighteen year old male from a wealthy socioeconomic background who failed to complete his secondary education. His referral to my practice was uncommon, but not unusual. A friend of his called. Most of the information I’ve obtained was from him. I will have to see how much of it is true. I have a feeling the patient will be difficult to work with. 

SOUND: Door knob turning. There’s the sound of a drawer opening and closing as Dr. Bright hides her recorder. Then the door opens.

DR. BRIGHT: Hello, Ronan?

RONAN: (Sullen. He has been dragged to the depths of hell.) Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s nice to finally meet you. Please have a seat. ...If you would be more comfortable standing...

RONAN: Whatever.

SOUND: Ronan slumping onto a couch.

DR. BRIGHT: So, what brings you here?

RONAN: Seriously? Isn’t that obvious?

DR. BRIGHT: Everyone is different, Ronan. There are many reasons to see a therapist. I’d like to know what you want from these sessions.

RONAN: Gansey told me.

DR. BRIGHT: Told you what?

RONAN: Don’t play dumb, you talked to him. He told me. He said you deal with “unusual cases.”

DR. BRIGHT: That is true. So, you’re here because of him? He seemed concerned about you.

RONAN: Who isn’t. He told you about my parents?

DR. BRIGHT: Yes, but I would like to hear it from you. When you hear things second hand, well, it can be like a game of telephone.

RONAN: What else did he tell you?

DR. BRIGHT: That he’s concerned about you. He respected your privacy. Whatever makes your case “unusual,” I believe he wanted you to tell me on your own terms.

RONAN: (Still suspicious) My parents are dead. I found their bodies.

DR. BRIGHT: (Gently) When was this?

RONAN: Dad was-- shit, two years ago. And mom… almost half a year.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m sorry. That must have been hard to lose them so soon--

RONAN: Way to state the fucking obvious.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you talked about what happened to anyone since then?

RONAN: I’m not mute.

DR. BRIGHT: Someone like me.

SILENCE

RONAN: Sort of.

DR. BRIGHT: What do you mean? (Pause) Ronan, I’m here to help you. The best way I can do that is if we’re both honest and open with each other.

RONAN: You mean if I am with you.

DR. BRIGHT: The therapist-client relationship is unique. I know that it’s asking a lot of you to trust me without telling you about myself, but just because I can’t tell you doesn’t mean I’m not being open with you.

RONAN: (Mutters) Jesus, I hate shrinks.

DR. BRIGHT: A lot of people do, but you came today.

RONAN: (Long exhale) I think she was a social worker or something. I saw her for like five minutes at the hospital.

DR. BRIGHT: When your parents died?

RONAN: When I almost died.

DR. BRIGHT: (Carefully, already knowing the answer) How did that happen?

RONAN: They thought I tried to kill myself.

DR. BRIGHT: They thought?

RONAN: (With increasing agitation) Look, it’s fucking complicated, alright? My arms got torn to shreds and they thought I did it. They locked me up for a day in their small, shitty psych ward. My arms were killing me. My head hurt. My friends were either disappointed or scared of me and they wanted me to talk about why I wanted to kill myself. But I didn’t do it and I couldn’t tell.

DR. BRIGHT: Why couldn’t you tell? Were you trying to protect someone?

RONAN: Sort of.

DR. BRIGHT: Someone who hurt you?

RONAN: Technically.

DR. BRIGHT: Everything that’s said in this room is entirely confidential. I can’t tell anyone what you’ve said here unless you or someone else plans to hurt someone. That doesn’t apply to the past. Whatever you say is between us.

RONAN: I’ve got a shit ton of other issues, so if you want to go somewhere with this can you shut the fuck up and drop it?

DR. BRIGHT: I am here to help you. I know it’s difficult to talk about some things, but bottling your thoughts and emotions is hurting you, not helping. ...Ronan, do you want to get better?

RONAN: It was an accident. No one else hurt me.

DR. BRIGHT: Your friend asked about my specialty in the unusual. Does what happened have to do with why wanted you to see me in particular?

RONAN: How do you specialize in the unusual?

DR. BRIGHT: I work with people with special abilities-- atypicals. In many cases, they have lost control of these abilities. My focus is on helping them use their powers productively. I often hear of accidents, which is why I asked.

RONAN: What kind of abilities?

DR. BRIGHT: I’m afraid I can’t discuss other clients, much like I can’t discuss what you and I say here with anyone else.

RONAN: Jesus. I know Gansey vetted you and all that shit but-- how do I know you’re not going to turn me in to someone?

DR. BRIGHT: I suppose that’s a matter of trust. Do you trust your friend’s judgement?

RONAN: Mostly. He’s smarter than me but sometimes he’s the one who’s actively trying to get himself killed.

DR. BRIGHT: As opposed to you?

RONAN: (Caught off guard) No. No, not anymore.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan… was it really an accident?

RONAN: It was subconscious.

DR. BRIGHT: How so?

RONAN: You answer my question first.

DR. BRIGHT: I am not going to turn you in to anyone.

RONAN: I can bring things from my dreams.

DR. BRIGHT: What kind of things?

RONAN: You’re the one with the doctorate and a specialty in freaks. You have to know.

DR. BRIGHT: Actually, I don’t.

RONAN: In my dream, the night horrors were trying to kill me. I brought back these. They look like I slashed my arms but they’re from claws.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you mean, when something affects your body in the dream, it also affects you physically?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m trying to understand. What’s this process like?

RONAN: I’m not like your other patients. I have it under control.

DR. BRIGHT: How so?

RONAN: This isn’t why I’m here.

DR. BRIGHT: Back to the subject then. Did you bring back this night horror?

RONAN: Not that time. Just these. You are a shrink, aren’t you? You’re not even flinching.

DR. BRIGHT: Are you surprised?

RONAN: It’s not the standard reaction.

DR. BRIGHT: Many people have difficulty understanding mental illnesses.

RONAN: It’s not a mental illness.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m not saying you have a mental illness Ronan, or that your abilities are. They aren’t. But when most people see scars like that, they make assumptions. 

RONAN: That I’ve got a loose screw? No shit.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, people become sick all the time, sometimes requiring hospitalization. Does it make any difference if an illness is in your mind?

RONAN: How do you even know what’s wrong with me?

DR. BRIGHT: Frankly, I don’t. This is our first session. But I can see that you’re hurting.

RONAN: (Yelling) I’m not-- (He stops, aware that to finish would be to lie.) Fuck this.

SOUND: A couch cushion hitting the wall.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, that is unacceptable behavior in my office. If you insist on throwing a tantrum, you are free to do it at home.

RONAN: Tantrum?!

DR. BRIGHT: You are old enough to know what is unacceptable behavior. You might intimidate some people, but you will not intimidate me.

RONAN: I’m not trying to intimidate anyone!

DR. BRIGHT: Then would you like to find a more productive way to express your anger than throwing pillows?

SOUND: Heavy thump, muffled by the cushions of a couch-- correctly placed.

DR. BRIGHT: Thank you. Now, Has that ever made you feel better?

RONAN: Throwing shit?

DR. BRIGHT: In a manner of speaking.

RONAN: I wish it would.  
(A ragged breath)  
What else am I supposed to do? I can’t stop it. I can’t drink anymore..

DR. BRIGHT: Drink?

RONAN: I stopped. Adam uh… doesn’t like it.

DR. BRIGHT: Adam sounds like a smart man.

RONAN: (With wonder) Yeah, he is.

DR. BRIGHT: When did you start drinking?

RONAN: After my father died.

DR. BRIGHT: And why do you think you started?

RONAN: Because he died. What kind of college did you go to?

DR. BRIGHT: What I mean is, people will drink for different reasons. Many turn to it as an escape. When they feel like their emotions or even their life is too much to bear, they latch onto anything that will dull that feeling.

RONAN: (Grudgingly) Sounds right.

DR. BRIGHT: Did you think it helped?

RONAN: For a bit, then it just made everything worse.

DR. BRIGHT: When did you stop drinking?

RONAN: I don’t know. Six months? No. I don’t know. I stopped having time to do it and then when I did Adam would give me this look like I was the most disappointing thing he’d ever seen.

DR. BRIGHT: You stopped having time to do it?

RONAN: Shit got complicated.

DR. BRIGHT: And by that you mean?

RONAN: There was a lot going on and the last time I got drunk I-- I just couldn’t afford to screw up again.

DR. BRIGHT: What happened?

RONAN: (Pause) I crashed a car.

DR. BRIGHT: And?

RONAN: And I totalled it. What else do you want me to say?

DR. BRIGHT: I want you to be honest.

RONAN: I don’t lie.

DR. BRIGHT: But there’s more you don’t want to tell me?

RONAN: Look, Bright, full offense but I still don’t know you.

DR. BRIGHT: Then maybe we can get back to it once we’ve gotten to know each other more. Ah-- has sobriety changed your dreams? Made them less volatile or--

RONAN: Nah, I took a dreaming crash course and stopped hating myself.

DR. BRIGHT: A dreaming crash course?

RONAN: Long story.

DR. BRIGHT: From someone else with your ability?

RONAN: Long. Story.

DR. BRIGHT: I’d like to hear it some time. If you have control of your abilities, why are you here?

RONAN: What does that mean?

DR. BRIGHT: I mean, what do you hope to accomplish in our time together?

RONAN: To tighten that loose screw.

DR. BRIGHT: I was hoping for something more concrete.

RONAN: I’m only here because of Gansey.

DR. BRIGHT: What does he want for you?

RONAN: He wants the old me back.

DR. BRIGHT: Before you lost your parents?

RONAN: Before my dad.

DR. BRIGHT: It sounds like you think he doesn’t like the person you are now as much as the person you were.

RONAN: He’s told me.

DR. BRIGHT: Has he?

RONAN: “When are you going to be the old you, Ronan?” Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: When did he tell you this?

RONAN: I don’t know. It’s been a while.

DR. BRIGHT: How do you know he stills feels that way?

RONAN: He signed me up for this.

DR. BRIGHT: Hm. Do you think that he was commenting on your personality and not your happiness?

RONAN: Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you asked him?

RONAN: I don’t need to.

DR. BRIGHT: Assumptions are not always right, Ronan.

RONAN: He’d tell me that after I was being an asshole, aka being myself. It’s not an assumption.

DR. BRIGHT: How were you being an asshole?

RONAN: How do I count the ways?

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t think you’re an asshole, Ronan. I think you’re angry and you channel that into hurting someone else. Is that a fair assessment?

RONAN: Eh.

DR. BRIGHT: I think that’s a yes. Anger is an emotion, Ronan, and rather common with depression.

RONAN: Depression? No, I’ve been feeling better so I don’t get why I have to be here.

DR. BRIGHT: I have a few suggestions. You could use this time to process your grief, address your feelings of guilt, develop anger management techniques... I’m sure I could think of more. They all tie together.

RONAN: I don’t need your help.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re experiencing moments of intense anger, triggered from a small act or seemingly out of nowhere. Have you been experiencing flashbacks? Reliving what it was like to find your parents’ bodies?

RONAN: ...Yes.

DR. BRIGHT: Impulsiveness?

RONAN: Do you have a point to this?

DR. BRIGHT: Throwing pillows and dreaming won’t help with any of that. If you’re still struggling to process your grief after two years, you may need more tools to learn how to cope. I can give you those.

RONAN: My own personal savior, huh?

DR. BRIGHT: You’ll be your “savior.” Like I said, I’m only giving you the tools. Are you happy with the way you feel now?

RONAN: I don’t know.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s almost three. I know the first session can be difficult, but I hope you’ll come back--

SOUND: Default text message.

RONAN: Adam wants to know if you’ve murdered me.

DR. BRIGHT: (Amused) You can tell him I’m not planning on it.

SOUND: Footsteps.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, I have one last question. Do you think you’ll hurt yourself again?

RONAN: I told you. I’ve got it under control. See you, Bright.

SOUND: Door creaks, then abruptly stops.

RONAN: Oh Jesus, Adam. I told you I’m fine.

ADAM: You texted back. I thought it was an impostor.

RONAN: Ha. Ha. Come on, smartass.

SOUND: Door shuts.

DR. BRIGHT: (Now into the recorder) End of session. That was an interesting, albeit frustrating session. The patient is…

(Irritation shifts to marked interest, the kind of a scientist on the verge of discovering a new species. Which, in a sense, she is.)

Remarkable. I haven’t encountered or heard of this ability before. It seems to be derived from his mind, placing him as class A atypical, but the effects are on his body, which would suggest class C. However, the patient said he could bring things from his dream. If it is not only his body, perhaps this is another manifestation of astral projection. I need time to research, but my current theory is that this is an extreme psychosomatic ability or interdimensional travel. Patient’s official classification is postponed. If Agent Green asks I’ll label him as class A. That will draw less attention.

(Returning to Dr. Bright the therapist, whose empathy replaces her detachment, as much as she tries to mask it.)

As for the clinical aspect, the patient became agitated during most questions. I decided that letting him guide the conversation would reveal more. It’s not my preferred method, but I’ve seen patients with similar emotional disturbances shut down during the standard intake process. My initial assessment is that the patient is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, following the deaths of his parents. He displayed most of the symptoms. His avoidance of the subject of his parents was quite clear, as he would rather talk about involuntary hospitalization. Not a common choice. My pillow vouches for his outbursts of anger and lack of impulse control. While not an official symptom, self-medication, especially with alcohol, is a frequent coping mechanism. I’ll have to keep an eye on that. Atypicals rarely respond well to alcohol.

Positive influences on the patient appear to be in at least two strong connections. He frequently mentioned that he was only here because of his friend and he is currently sober due to his boyfriend’s disapproval. He will have to learn to motivate himself to maintain and continue his improvement, but a strong social support system is always an indicator for a positive outcome.

The patient did not mention any surviving family. But his comments on a “crash course” combined with the known genetic nature of atypical abilities lead me to believe he may have another relative with similar abilities. Perhaps one or both of his parents were atypical. If this is psychosomatic, then a loss of control would place them at high risk to themselves, as the patient’s history clearly demonstrated.

I hope I didn’t make a mistake letting him leave the office, but I couldn’t hold him hostage. And the AM is not an option.


	2. Chapter 2

**Patient #16, Session 2, June 9**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, Class A-6, subject to reclassification. This will be his second session. His first was challenging for both of us but I hope we can make more progress this time.

SOUND: Door opens

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, It’s good to see you again. Please have a seat.

SOUND: Creaking and shuffling as the door closes and they both sit.

DR. BRIGHT: I wasn’t sure if you’d make another appointment.

RONAN: That’s two of us.

DR. BRIGHT: Why did you?

RONAN: I don’t have anyone else to talk to.

DR. BRIGHT: Anyone? I was under the impression your friends knew.

RONAN: No, they know what happened. What I do. I can’t talk to them about this-- shit. Feelings.

DR. BRIGHT: Not even Adam?

RONAN: The fuck does that mean?

DR. BRIGHT: He did check on you during the session. You two seem closer than normal friends. Are you?

RONAN: It’s none of your business. ...Nah, it is your business. Great.

DR. BRIGHT: There’s nothing wrong with dating another man.

RONAN: I’m not ashamed. It’s that I never told you.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re hardly subtle, Ronan.

RONAN: Hm.

DR. BRIGHT: Well, why aren’t you comfortable talking to him about your feelings?

RONAN: We don’t need to.

DR. BRIGHT: Relationships depend on communication.

RONAN: Jesus, I never said we don’t talk. We don’t need to about this. He was there when...

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan?

SILENCE

RONAN: (Startled) Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: Are you alright?

RONAN: (Dryly) I’m in a therapist’s office.

DR. BRIGHT: A fair point. You said you don’t need to talk to Adam.

RONAN: Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you want to?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: Why am I different?

RONAN: You won’t feel guilty.

DR. BRIGHT: Why would he feel guilty?

RONAN: Because he would. Gansey would. Hell, they do already. I’ve fucked everything up so badly I don’t want to fuck it up more.

DR. BRIGHT: They’re your friends. I don’t think they’d want you to hurt yourself to protect them.

RONAN: We can’t all have what we want.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t think it would hurt them to know you were hiding this from them?

RONAN: They’ve already got an idea. I’m not dumping this on them.

DR. BRIGHT: Your feelings aren’t trash, Ronan.

RONAN: Yeah, well they sure feel like it.

DR. BRIGHT: Let’s unpack them then and see what they’re like.

RONAN: What? You want to go into my life story? You want me to talk about my parents?

DR. BRIGHT: Do you?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: Will you tell me about the rest of your family?

RONAN: Two brothers.

DR. BRIGHT: What are their names?

RONAN: Is this relevant?

DR. BRIGHT: It makes it easier to talk about them.

RONAN: Matthew and Declan.

DR. BRIGHT: How do you get along?

RONAN: Love Matthew, hate Declan. Mostly hate him. I hate the kind of person he is but he’s still family.

DR. BRIGHT: Why do you hate him?

RONAN: He lies. He cheats. He kept us from our home.

DR. BRIGHT: Am I right in thinking that the last one is the most important? 

RONAN: He’s the executor of my father’s will. When it was originally found, it banned my brothers and I from setting foot in our home. Our mom was there so we couldn’t see her either. I told him we could challenge it but he didn’t care.

DR. BRIGHT: How did this keep you from your mother?

RONAN: She was in a coma. We couldn’t leave her in a hospital. She belonged at home. My dad left money for her care so he must’ve thought so too.

DR. BRIGHT: How long was she in a coma?

RONAN: I’m not talking about my parents.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, therapy is not easy. We will have to talk about difficult, even painful subjects. You may not be ready now, but you can’t avoid it forever.

RONAN: I don’t have to be here.

DR. BRIGHT: No, you don’t. But you are here for a reason.

RONAN: Don’t push your luck.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, these sessions will only work if you want to get better. Do you?

RONAN: ...I don’t want to talk about my family now.

DR. BRIGHT: That’s not an answer.

RONAN: Then ask something else.

DR. BRIGHT: Where did you live after all of this?

RONAN: Student housing. I went to this school for losers who want to waste their lives, their parents’ money, or both. Then I moved in with Gansey and Noah.

DR. BRIGHT: Another friend?

RONAN: Yeah, he was. He saved my life. He found me that night, when they thought I tried to kill myself. I never asked him how he knew.

DR. BRIGHT: That was when you dreamed of the night horror. Can you tell me about that? What happens when you dream?

RONAN: I fall asleep.

DR. BRIGHT: I assumed so. But it would help if I knew why--

RONAN: I hated myself then so the night horrors hated me. They tried to kill me all the time. Sometimes they did. That night was one time I was shit out of luck and brought what they did to me back.

DR. BRIGHT: How did you learn it was because they hated you? Did you realize that on your own?

RONAN: A friend told me in a dream. I thought about it and realized I’m a fuck up but I’m not someone I hate.

DR. BRIGHT: Those are harsh words for yourself.

RONAN: It’s called self-awareness. Aren’t you supposed to be all about that?

DR. BRIGHT: Just because you have problems in your life does not mean you are a “fuck up.” You can acknowledge your mistakes without condemning yourself. You’ve lived through several traumatic events in a span of two years, that would affect anyone. But it doesn’t define you.

RONAN: How is landing in a psych ward not being a fuck up?

DR. BRIGHT: And if you went into the hospital for surgery, would that make you one? Even if you had attempted suicide there is no shame in psychiatric hospitalization.

RONAN: I wanted to. That’s the reason I was there. I wanted to die. But when I saw Noah, I was relieved. Then I got so tired that I didn’t care anymore. Then I felt like shit for it when I saw Matthew. By the time Gansey visited I wish I had just fucking died already. I got to hear about what I did to everyone.

DR. BRIGHT: What you did?

RONAN: Scared Gansey. Traumatized Noah. Adam’s dad caught him sneaking out and beat me. God, Adam didn’t even like me back then. I still don’t know why the hell he did that. And Gansey kept talking to me like I was going to kill myself for good the moment he turned his back. I couldn’t tell him what happened. I told him it wasn’t what it looked like but he didn’t get it. There aren’t many other reasons for suddenly having your wrists cut in the middle of the night.

DR. BRIGHT: You were afraid of telling them about your abilities?

RONAN: No. They were my friends. They would have been cool about it, once I proved I wasn’t totally crazy. I promised my dad I wouldn’t tell anyone.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you think he meant your friends?

SOUND: Default text message received followed by default text message sent.

RONAN: I don’t know what he meant. I don’t know if it matters.

DR. BRIGHT: But they know now. Is that why you told them?

RONAN: I knew I couldn’t keep it secret for much longer. Once they knew, they looked at me different. I couldn’t decide if it was better or worse at first but at least I wasn’t Ronan the Suicidal Shithead. They could judge me for who I was, not a lie.

DR. BRIGHT: A lie-- that’s an interesting choice of words. Did you ever lie to them?

RONAN: No, I didn’t tell them. It wasn’t really a lie but… it wasn’t me.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve met many atypicals, people with abilities like yourself, who never tell anyone. Others, like you, choose to tell their closest friends, but only when they’re prepared. It’s important to be completely comfortable with telling someone you trust. Waiting until you’re ready isn’t lying to them.

RONAN: (Dismissively) Yeah, yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: But you blame yourself for not telling them before? It was an accident, one that you admit they would have trouble understanding at first, especially given the circumstances. I imagine the outcomes would have been similar. You did almost die. Regardless of how it happened, they cared. They would have acted the same.

RONAN: (Angry) But it shouldn’t have happened. If I had it under control, it wouldn’t have happened.

DR. BRIGHT: Adolescence is a difficult time for anyone with abilities to maintain control. Emotions can strongly influence atypical abilities and grief and guilt are powerful emotions. You can’t blame yourself for your reaction under a moment of extreme stress with little guidance. You made the best choices you could at the time. You’re not responsible for your friends’ reactions or what happened to Adam. (Pause) You don’t believe me.

RONAN: Nope.

DR. BRIGHT: Why not? Did you know how to control your ability?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: Did you know anyone who had it?

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan?

RONAN: What’s your point?

DR. BRIGHT: Who--

RONAN: Your point?

DR. BRIGHT: How can you hold yourself accountable for not controlling it? Telling them would not have changed what happened.

RONAN: I get it.

DR. BRIGHT: Even if you don’t believe it, I’d like you to remind yourself of it. Will you?

RONAN: Maybe.

DR. BRIGHT: Will I see you next week?

RONAN: Maybe.

DR. BRIGHT: I have to ask something before you go. Is Adam--

RONAN: He moved out.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m glad to hear it.

RONAN: He’s eighteen so you don’t need to report it. That’s why you’re asking, yeah?

SOUND: Footsteps

DR. BRIGHT: Yes, as a therapist I am a mandatory reporter. It’s one of the few situations in which I have to break confidentiality. As long as you don’t plan on hurting yourself or anyone else.

RONAN: We covered that. I’ve got it under control.

SOUND: Door opens.

RONAN: Don’t you have better things to do than stalk me?

ADAM: It’s not stalking when I have your permission.

SOUND: Door closes.

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen’s second session was less difficult than his first. I learned nothing new about his abilities and only some about his history. But he was able to talk to me about nearly dying. He appears to still carry guilt from the moment although he never had an outburst as in last session. I very much believe this is the tip of a huge iceberg.

I remain concerned that his abilities previously harmed him. But as long as he is capable of controlling them, my focus will have to be his emotional disturbances, which seem to center around his family. I don’t know how much progress I can make until he’s willing to talk to me about them. I have a feeling once he does, all of the pieces will fall into place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Patient #16, Session 3, June 16**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen’s temporary classification is A-6, pending more information. The patient might like to keep me in suspense at the end of our sessions, but he has always scheduled shortly after. I’m not sure if he’s indecisive or wants to keep me on my toes. If it’s the latter, it’s a lost cause. My experiences with patient five have left me immune to that. I suppose he’s good for something.

SOUND: Indistinct yelling from outside. Footsteps as Dr. Bright gets up and opens the door.

RONAN: For fuck’s sake, Adam. You are not waiting anywhere near my car.

ADAM: You are seriously not letting this go?

RONAN: Oh, yeah. Cause it doesn’t count as grand theft auto if it’s temporary.

ADAM: Coming from you, that is so rich it’s worth more than your bank account.

DR. BRIGHT: What is going on?

RONAN: He stole my car!

ADAM: You said I could use it. Calm down and don’t waste your therapy session on--

RONAN: On what? My gem of a boyfriend going back to his birthplace, the bowels of the earth?

ADAM: You are such an asshole.

DR. BRIGHT: Excuse me! Ronan, Adam, would you like to come into my office?

ADAM: Ma’am?

DR. BRIGHT: I can see that Ronan’s session will be unproductive if it’s just the two of us today. You can reschedule and go home, or you can make use of your time here.

RONAN: See what I put up with?

ADAM: I already believed you.

DR. BRIGHT: Please come in before you make my secretary even more nervous.

ADAM: Oh. Sarah, I’m sor--

RONAN: God, let’s just go.

SOUND: Footsteps, door closing, and two people taking their seats.

RONAN: Adam, just go with it.

SOUND: The third person taking his seat.

DR. BRIGHT: There are forms you should sign, Ronan. In case anything from our sessions comes up that you haven’t told Adam.

RONAN: He already knows everything. ...What the hell is that look-- seriously? Both of you? How many secrets do I gotta spill before you believe me?

ADAM: All of them.

RONAN: I feel so fucking full of confidence and trust right now.

ADAM: Just give him the papers, please.

SOUND: Dr. Bright getting up and going through her desk while Adam and Ronan talk

ADAM: You didn’t care about me using the BMW before.

RONAN: You know this isn’t the same.

ADAM: How? Would you rather I have gone in my shitbox?

RONAN: I’d rather you not have gone at all! Why did you even want to?

ADAM: It’s complicated.

RONAN: Complicated? They’re fucking shitheads, Adam. They’re not family. They’re parasites.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan. This gives me permission to mention what we have discussed in therapy. This is for Adam alone and it’s only for if something relevant comes up. I am not going to tell him everything.

RONAN: Sure, whatever. I sign here and-- back page. Great.

SOUND: Pen scribbling violently

RONAN: Here.

DR. BRIGHT: Now, what is this about? Please try to only give me the facts. We can cover both of your feelings later.

RONAN: He stole my car to visit his parents.

ADAM: (Factual) That covers it.

DR. BRIGHT: Why did you do that?

ADAM: Honestly, I wanted to make my dad nervous.

RONAN: Then why didn’t you bring me?!

ADAM: I said nervous, not terrified.

RONAN: Why the fuck not!

ADAM: Because I don’t want to be responsible for an assault charge against you.

RONAN: Oh God, I do it one fucking time when he’s beaten you until--

ADAM: Ronan--

RONAN: She already knows!

ADAM: What? Why?

RONAN: I told her about the fake suicide deal. It came up.

ADAM: (Surprised) That bothered you?

RONAN: Jesus, Adam. Of course it fucking “bothers” me. Your dad hit you.

ADAM: It wasn’t the first time.

RONAN: Yeah, and you didn’t hate me for it those times.

ADAM: I didn’t blame you!

RONAN: Don’t give me any of this bull.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, Adam. Let’s take--

ADAM: The only reason I hated you is you were a self-absorbed jerk who threw a fit every time Gansey paid attention to me.

RONAN: Wow, Adam. You read my mind. That’s how I used to feel about you. Then I realized you’re the kind of uptight ass I like.

ADAM: (Still angry but teasing as well) You’ve made that clear.

SOUND: Ronan laughs, then stops abruptly. Adam clears his throat.

DR. BRIGHT: Well, now that you two have stopped. Will you take a break to breathe before continuing this argument at a lower volume? Ronan, what is bothering you about this? That he went to visit his parents or that he used your car to do it?

RONAN: It can’t be both?

DR. BRIGHT: Pick what you upsets you most.

RONAN: Your fucking parents, no shit.

ADAM: It was something I needed to do.

RONAN: Why? Why would you ever go back there? It’s like with the tarot cards. Part of you just wants to get sucked back in--

ADAM: That isn’t why I did that.

RONAN: Then why?

ADAM: The first time, we were looking for a demon. And like I told you. Wrong--

RONAN: Demon. Yes, I know. I remember. I totally remember not getting to run over your father.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan! Tone it down.

RONAN: So what’s the excuse this time?

ADAM: You wouldn’t understand.

RONAN: Try me.

ADAM: I needed them to know that I’m doing something with my life.

RONAN: Jesus, sometimes I don’t have enough curses in my vocabulary when I talk to you.

ADAM: Try me.

RONAN: If you don’t stop smirking, Parrish, I swear to God--

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, I know you are capable of exercising more self control. 

ADAM: I’m not sure he is.

DR. BRIGHT: I would like for you two to try to have this conversation without judging each other. Can you do that? (Pause) We’ll pretend that’s a yes. It’s very difficult for someone who has not come from an abusive background to understand the feelings of someone who has, but I’m sure you can respect them.

RONAN: What about mine?

ADAM: What about yours?

RONAN: Nice, Parrish.

ADAM: Seriously, Ronan. What is your problem? I’m fine. Your car is fine. You did worse to Gansey’s.

RONAN: I’m not falling for that. If you wanted my car so bad why couldn’t you take me? Don’t give me the assault charge excuse. I only want to punch your dad into a coma. I didn’t actually do it the last time. You could’ve at least taken me for some God damn back up.

ADAM: Even if you would have let me, which you wouldn’t’ve, I had to do it myself.

RONAN: Jesus, you could do it by yourself while I waited in the car!

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, stop and listen. Adam, can you tell us why you felt you had to?

ADAM: I needed them to see that I’d done something more with myself. I didn’t let them tear me down, after everything they did. They needed to see me as an equal.

RONAN: You’re not equals. They’re pieces of shit. Why do you want their approval? Why? Your father’s like the spawn of Satan.

ADAM: And yours was a saint?

RONAN: My dad was nothing like yours, Parrish.

ADAM: I wasn’t saying he was. It’s that-- no family is perfect. That’s what I meant.

RONAN: My father loved me. He didn’t beat me or call me worthless. He was nothing like yours!

ADAM: I know! I know, he loved you. You think I don’t know that? Or wanted it? You’re working to get your family back together. Can you let me have this one small piece of mine? They’re terrible. And maybe they’ll never change or apologize or be proud of me, but I want to at least try to have a normal family.

RONAN: (Flat) You’re wasting your time.

ADAM: That’s not your decision.

RONAN: You don’t need them.

ADAM: I don’t need anyone, Ronan! All I wanted was to know.

RONAN: Oh, is that why you went without me?

ADAM: I don’t need you to protect me. I don’t need you, or Gansey, or Cabeswater, or anyone. I did this on my own. ...I told you, you wouldn’t understand.

RONAN: (Quietly) Yeah, I do.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: What are you thinking, Ronan?

RONAN: That you should shut the fuck up.

DR. BRIGHT: I have been very patient with you, but if you are going to keep being disrespectful, then I think you should go.

RONAN: Fine.

SOUND: Couch shifting as Ronan stands.

ADAM: (Apologetic, but to Ronan) You know she’s right. Don’t be dramatic.

SOUND: The couch shifts as Ronan sits down.

Ronan: (Grumbles) Sorry.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, now can you tell us?

RONAN: No.

ADAM: (Growing frustrated) I know Gansey wants me to depend on him, I didn’t think you do too.

RONAN: I don’t.

ADAM: Then why are you sulking over me being independent, for once in my fucking life?

RONAN: When are you going to get that it’s not the same damn thing. Having your friends help you isn’t taking away from your precious independence. 

ADAM: Maybe, but I don’t want it.

DR. BRIGHT: You are both making a lot of assumptions instead of communicating.

RONAN: No, I heard him fine. He’s right. He doesn’t need me.

ADAM: Shit. That is not what I meant. It’s not like that with you. You don’t act like helping me is some act of charity.

RONAN: We don’t think you’re charity, Adam.

ADAM: You don’t. You know what Gansey’s like.

RONAN: Yeah, good thing for you he’s on his road trip. You won’t have to deal with that again.

ADAM: You’re upset because I don’t need him? What the hell, Ronan?

DR. BRIGHT: If I may, I think that you are talking about two different things now. Adam, what exactly do you mean when you say you don’t need anyone?

RONAN: Really, Dr. Bright? You want us to pull out a dictionary?

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, please.

ADAM: I don’t have to depend on anyone to survive. If I need anything, I can get it or do it myself.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, what do you hear?

RONAN: You want me to repeat it verbatim?

DR. BRIGHT: No, I want you to tell me what you think he means.

RONAN: He doesn’t need anyone. I get it.

ADAM: Doesn’t it mean more if I’m choosing to stay with you?

RONAN: You’re not staying.

ADAM: I’m staying with you, not Henrietta.

RONAN: It’s my home.

ADAM: It’s not mine. I told you, we’ll think of something. (Pause) I didn’t just take your car to intimidate my dad. I wanted to feel like you were there.

RONAN: Great. My car can help you and I can’t.

ADAM: You have helped me, alright? And you are now. It’s-- damn it, Ronan. You stopped my dad but I didn’t need you there again. I’m not helpless anymore.

RONAN: (Softer. It finally clicks.) You weren’t.

ADAM: Ronan, you’re lying.

RONAN: I’ve thought a lot of things about you, Adam, but I never thought you were helpless.

ADAM: (Heated) Never? What about when I tried to-- (He cuts himself off.)

RONAN: (Wary, Dr. Bright is in the room.) You weren’t then. You fought it.

ADAM: (Calmer) I don’t agree but let’s talk about that later.

RONAN: Let’s.

SILENCE

ADAM: I never said thanks after you stopped my dad.

RONAN: No problem. Just wish I’d done it sooner.

ADAM: I should’ve left sooner.

RONAN: No argument there.

ADAM: I just need to be in control. I can’t do that if I have to rely on anyone.

RONAN: I don’t need you to need me. I just want to be-- I don’t know. Important to you. Like you’re not going to… forget it.

SOUND: Couch shifting, Adam whispers indistinct words in Latin, then English.

RONAN: (Quietly) I know. (Normal) Don’t steal my car again and I won’t press charges.

ADAM: (Teasing) Hypocrite.

RONAN: I made him a new car.

DR. BRIGHT: You what?

RONAN: Dreamed? You know, those abilities you’re always going on about.

DR. BRIGHT: You dreamed a car?

RONAN: It was a total bitch to do. Making a duplicate of that shitty engine… I still have nightmares.

ADAM: He told you what he can do. You didn’t believe him?

DR. BRIGHT: I-- misunderstood.

ADAM: Patient confidentiality still applies. This doesn’t change that. You won’t tell anyone?

DR. BRIGHT: (Composing herself) Of course not.

RONAN: Let’s get out of here before she tries to grill me with questions.

DR. BRIGHT: I won’t do that, Ronan. I’m only concerned about you-- and Adam. You are my patient for a day.

ADAM: I’m sorry I took up your session.

DR. BRIGHT: I’d like to think it was still helpful.

SOUND: Couch shifting as they all stand.

ADAM: (Stiffly) Thank you, Dr. Bright.

DR. BRIGHT: My pleasure. Ronan, we can schedule your next appointment for later this week?

RONAN: Sure. I’ll work it out later. We gotta clear a few more things up.

DR. BRIGHT: I understand. Please don’t wait too long before calling.

RONAN: Right. Bye, Bright.

DR. BRIGHT: Goodbye, you two.

SOUND: Footsteps

ADAM: (From a distance.) Now do you want me back in the car?

SOUND: Door closes followed by a deep, shaky breath.

DR. BRIGHT: Oh, God. How didn’t I realize--

SOUND: Dr. Bright moving to the recorder.

DR. BRIGHT: (Composing herself) Patient Sixteen, classification now unknown. I have terribly misunderstood and underestimate Ronan’s ability. He can create objects. I haven’t heard of this kind of ability before. It might be some sort of matter manipulation, like elemental manipulation. I’ll have to look into this later.

Patient’s third session turned into a couples counseling session. I was barely able to get a word in but even with minimal intervention, they finally managed to communicate properly. Hopefully they’ll have gotten the hang of it by the time Adam leaves for college. I’ll have to follow up with Ronan on several issues raised. Unsurprisingly, given his losses, fear of abandonment is a concern. And I’ll have to talk to him about his own history of breaking the law. It sounds like one of those incidents was self-defense or to protect Adam. That I find less concerning than stealing a-- a car.

If Adam were an atypical, I would ask if I can evaluate him as a patient. Maybe he is. They were obviously avoiding at least one topic because I was there. Well, maybe he’ll make use of his college’s counseling services. Time will tell if I’ve earned enough trust for him to stop texting Ronan in the middle of my sessions.


	4. Chapter 4

**Voicemail of Richard Gansey III, June 17**

ADAM: I’ve got to say this now before you do it again. I want Ronan to get better as much as you do, but stop pressuring him. I don’t ask him what he talks about. That’s up to him. It’s his therapy. He’s the one in charge. So will you stop micromanaging everything in his life. You don’t get to see him the next few hours after you’ve called. He’s supposed to be happy to talk to you, not disappointed in himself.

(He takes a deep breath.) You called at a really bad time yesterday. And it’s been a long week. I don’t want to fight about this but I keep telling you. Ronan’s the only one who can help himself. You can’t do it for him. He has to learn he can do this on his own. Just tell him about your road trip and leave the rest alone.

I’ll talk to you later. I hope you’re having a good time there. Say hi to Blue for me. And Henry, if you have to.

**Voicemail of Adam Parrish, June 17**

GANSEY: Hello, Adam. I realized after calling that you must be at work. I’m having trouble keeping track of time here. I just want to make it clear that I am not trying to pressure Ronan into anything. I’m making him aware that there is a window of time in which the sessions would be most beneficial. I understand that it is challenging and I wish I could be there to support him.  
(Pause) It’d help if you were more open minded to therapy. I did look into her past. I didn’t find anything worrying. This is her specialty. I’m sure she only wants what’s best for him, just like us.

We need to stop arguing over voicemail. I’ll wait next time and pay more attention to my phone. I don’t like fighting with you, especially when we’re not in the same country.

Please give my best to Ronan and Opal. I tried to call him but he didn’t answer. I know he’s improved, but I wish he’d check his phone more often. Blue and Henry say hello, by the way. Bye.

**Patient #16, Session 4, June 18**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient 16, Class A-6, potentially D-6. This will be his fourth session. I plan to follow up on some insecurities his previous sessions revealed and hopefully learn more about his abilities. There’s so much I need to understand.

SOUND: Door opens.

DR. BRIGHT: Hello, Ronan. How did things go after you left?

RONAN: We worked out some more stuff.

DR. BRIGHT: And that went well?

RONAN: Yeah.

SOUND: Couch shifting as Ronan takes his seat.

DR. BRIGHT: We didn’t get to talk about how you felt during that session?

RONAN: Talking to Adam about that was the whole damn point.

DR. BRIGHT: I mean the two of us. You seemed to be distancing yourself from your emotions at the time.

RONAN: I didn’t actually want to flip a table.

DR. BRIGHT: I appreciate your restraint. Do you remember what prompted those feelings?

RONAN: You think I didn’t already want to do that?

DR. BRIGHT: I think that you found certain things harder to talk about than others. For instance, when Adam said he didn’t need you, you went from expressive to silent. Ah, I see some of the change now.

RONAN: (Sarcastic) Great.

DR. BRIGHT: What do you think he meant?

RONAN: He needs to be in control of his life. Some shit happened a while back and we’re all dealing with it. Part of it’s from that. We worked it out.

DR. BRIGHT: What did you think he meant before you talked about it?

RONAN: It didn’t matter if I was in his life or not.

DR. BRIGHT: And?

RONAN: He didn’t-- God, Bright. Why do you make me do this shit?

DR. BRIGHT: I’m not doing my job if we avoid things that make you uncomfortable.

RONAN: He didn’t care about me the way I care about him.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you need that?

RONAN: Yes! No! It depends on your definition.

DR. BRIGHT: And in your definition, you do.

RONAN: I need to have him in my life.

DR. BRIGHT: You are talking emotionally. He meant literally.

RONAN: No, he’d be fine without me. He’d move on.

DR. BRIGHT: And you wouldn’t?

RONAN: Why are we talking about this? I worked it out with Adam.

DR. BRIGHT: Because you don’t need anyone to live, Ronan. Maybe you won’t be as happy as you imagined, but you’d be alright. Now, I’m not saying it will happen. But if it did, you’d be fine too. ...You don’t look convinced.

RONAN: I’ve been through this shit before.

DR. BRIGHT: A break up?

RONAN: No. Losing someone. (Frustrated) I know it wouldn’t be like that. God, a break up isn’t the same. Leaving for some grand adventure isn’t the same.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t have to defend your feelings, Ronan. I know those losses aren’t the same, but you still miss someone. That’s why, even though you’ve resolved this with Adam, you still have trouble. This isn’t only about him.

RONAN: I know what you’re getting at.

DR. BRIGHT: Are you ready to talk about it?

RONAN: My parents.

DR. BRIGHT: Yes.

RONAN: No. (Struggling with himself) But that’s the point. I gotta.

DR. BRIGHT: Where would you like to start?

RONAN: I’m shit at stories. All the best storytellers are liars. It’s why my father’s were good. So mine will be crap. Here’s how this one really goes.  
(Deep breath) My father was from Ireland. He came here-- I don’t know if he dreamed my mom before or after.

DR. BRIGHT: Dreamed?

RONAN: Yeah. Dreamed.

DR. BRIGHT: (Skeptical) He dreamed your mother.

RONAN: He was a dreamer. I got it from him.

DR. BRIGHT: And... he dreamed an entire human being into existence?

RONAN: Yeah. Yeah, he did... Is your brain done spazzing out?

DR. BRIGHT: I was surprised, Ronan. I think you can allow me that.

RONAN: Are we going to continue the story or do you need me to turn on the night light before I tuck you in?

DR. BRIGHT: (Irritated) I’m fine. (Relaxing) Please go on.

RONAN: They built a home and had three sons: Declan, Ronan, and Matthew. I’m the only dreamer. He sold his dreams to people. I don’t know the whole story. What I know is he had a lot of buyers and finally he narrowed it down to a few people. A few wealthy, twisted people. He went all around the world pretending to collect magic artifacts but the only place he got them out of was his head. No one else knew he dreamed things. He told them he found an artifact that could take things from dreams. But there wasn’t any. It was just him.

(Frustrated) I kept his secret. Fucking Declan kept his secret and he… They killed him because he wouldn’t sell them something that never existed.

DR. BRIGHT: What happened that day?

RONAN: (Sighs and takes a moment) He was always leaving. He’d be gone for months. Mom was great but when he was gone it felt-- it didn’t feel whole. He’d just come back and I was… It was good to have him back. The next morning, I got up early, went to get started on the literal farm shit, and he was in the driveway. So was the tire iron.

DR. BRIGHT: What did you do after?

RONAN: Crazy thing is, I don’t remember.

DR. BRIGHT: That’s not crazy at all. It’s quite common.

RONAN: Yeah?

DR. BRIGHT: Yes.

RONAN: (Pauses as he processes this) Declan told me I lost my shit.

DR. BRIGHT: Also quite common.

RONAN: (Quietly) Then why can’t I forget finding him?

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t think anyone has the answer to that yet.

SOUND: Heavy breathing.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan? ...It’s alright to cry.

RONAN: (Muffled) I’m not crying.

DR. BRIGHT: (Gently) Do you see your father now?

RONAN: Yes! What the fuck does it matter! Yes!

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, listen to me. I know it’s painful but walking me through your memory of that day helps. If you go through it now instead, you won’t always be fighting it back.

RONAN: That’s sick.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re living through it now, aren’t you?

RONAN: This is fucked.

DR. BRIGHT: I need you to take deep breaths. Have you heard of diaphragmatic--

RONAN: Breathing. I used to fucking sing I know what-- (Hyperventilating) God.

DR. BRIGHT: Breathe in and I’ll count to ten, then you’ll breathe out as I count to ten again. Alright? One.

SOUND: One single, ragged breath throughout count

DR. BRIGHT: (Slowly) Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Now out. One.

SOUND: A slow, steady exhale.

DR. BRIGHT: (Slowly) Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Now in. One.

SOUND: A calmer breath.

DR. BRIGHT: Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Now--

RONAN: (Weakly) I’m fine. I need a minute.

DR. BRIGHT: Take your time.

SILENCE

RONAN: O.K.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan--

RONAN: If I tell you, will I stop seeing it?

DR. BRIGHT: Eventually. It will make things worse for a time, but once you’ve processed it, you will start to feel better.

RONAN: That is super fucking vague.

DR. BRIGHT: No one’s mind is the same. Yours certainly isn’t.

RONAN: O.K.

DR. BRIGHT: O.K. Be as detailed as you can.

RONAN: It was around five. I woke up early to get everything done early. Gansey had the day planned for us. I didn’t want to keep him waiting. Sometimes the cows are cranky bastards and don’t want to do anything but shit. I thought I’d get it over with. But I saw my dad’s BMW. It’s gray but it was too dark to tell. Didn’t matter. I didn’t need the color to know.

DR. BRIGHT: How did you feel?

RONAN: I don’t know. Excited. Confused. Usually he makes a grand entrance when he comes home-- when he came home. I thought he might have gone to to bed first. Mom-- yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: I understand.

RONAN: But he might have pulled up before I went outside. I walked closer. No, I saw the blood first. On the car. There was. It-- (Not upset, just struggling to remember.) It was on the window but there wasn’t much. I barely saw it. I didn’t know what it was then but I knew it wasn’t good. Then Declan’s car-- it was between me and the BMW. That’s why I didn’t see… There was blood on the hood of Declan’s car. (Faltering) It was… a whole fucking lot more smeared across. Gray must have…

DR. BRIGHT: Remember the breathing.

SOUND: Heavy breathing, starting to slow until Ronan chokes

RONAN: I can’t. I can’t do this.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan--

RONAN: I need to stop.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, you’re almost through, and then you’ll feel better.

RONAN: (Crying) Sadistic bi--

DR. BRIGHT: You know that’s not true.

RONAN: (Struggling to speak between breaths.) I knew he-- he-- shit. Shit.

DR. BRIGHT: Breathe.

RONAN: He cracked his skull open. His brains were-- and his face-- (crying again) God, why did you do this to me?

DR. BRIGHT: (Gently) Because--

RONAN: Not you!

SOUND: Ragged breathing slowly replacing Ronan’s sobs.

DR. BRIGHT: (Softly) You’re almost done.

RONAN: (Slowly) There was just enough of his face to recognize him. The rest was-- it was everywhere. Everywhere. Most of his brain was in his skull but there were bits of it on the ground. The tire iron next to him had the rest of it with part of his head. (Quickly but choking on the words.) God. I think there was bone. I wanted to go to him but I was scared. It wasn’t my dad anymore. I didn’t want it to be him. I screamed. I…

DR. BRIGHT: It’s alright.

RONAN: I screamed.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t have to go on.

RONAN: Fuck, Declan was right. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t move until he pulled me away.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s over.

RONAN: (Finally completely breaking down.) Oh, God. Dad...

DR. BRIGHT: It’s over. You’re here in my office.

SOUND: Nothing but crying until it subsides after a few minutes

RONAN: If I’d gotten up earlier, he wouldn’t have died alone.

DR. BRIGHT: Your father wouldn’t want that.

SOUND: Default received text tone. Default sent text tone.

RONAN: I’m tired. Don’t tell me that’s common too.

DR. BRIGHT: I’d say universal.

RONAN: I said “don’t tell me.” 

DR. BRIGHT: My mistake. (Carefully.) Do you know who killed your father? You said “Gray.”

RONAN: I told you. Magical object collecting psychopaths. Dad said he had an artifact that could bring dream things into reality. There wasn’t any.

DR. BRIGHT: There’s a black market for magical artifacts?

RONAN: Smaller now. Dangerous business.

DR. BRIGHT: Are you part of it?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m glad to hear it. Do they know about you?

RONAN: They know my family. They don’t know what I can do. (pause, becoming more alert as he realizes the direction this has taken) You’re worried.

DR. BRIGHT: It is my job.

RONAN: No, this isn’t. We handled it. Back off.

DR. BRIGHT: I only want to know that you’re safe. We have some time left. How did your family react? You don’t have to go into detail at all. You’ve been through a lot today. But it will help for next session.

RONAN: (Frustrated) How many questions do you ask? Shit, don’t bother. I know. It’s your job. Fine. Declan called the police. I lost my shit. The police came. Matthew cried. I lost my shit. Gansey called when I didn’t meet up with him. I lost my shit again. Mom held us together until she fell asleep and didn’t wake up.

DR. BRIGHT: Your mother fell asleep?

RONAN: She was from my dad’s dreams. Once he died, she was a Sleeping Beauty waiting for a prince who’ll never come.

DR. BRIGHT: Is that why she died?

RONAN: No. If I hadn’t… She could’ve lived forever like that or grow old and die in her sleep. Who the hell knows?

DR. BRIGHT: (Hesitant) I may be able to give a clearer answer if I knew more ab--

RONAN: (From 0 to 100, full of adrenaline) Oh, no. I know what you’re gonna ask. No. Fucking. Way.

SOUND: Default received text tone, almost drowned by Ronan’s voice.

DR. BRIGHT: If I understood--

RONAN: I’m not a lab rat.

DR. BRIGHT: Of course you’re not. But I believe if I know more about your abilities, our sessions would be more productive. If you have another nightmare--

RONAN: Oh for fuck’s sake, I told you. I have it under control. This is why you work with people like me. You want to know everything. Oh God, that’s why you had me tell you. You broke me down so you could ask. You want to use me.

DR. BRIGHT: (Simultaneously) No, Ronan.  
RONAN: (Simultaneously) Just like--

Dr Bright: (Only loud enough to overpower his voice.) I’m sorry! (At normal volume but hurried) I’m sorry. Your abilities are your own. They belong to you and you don’t have to explain them any more than you want to. I promise, you are not an experiment. These sessions aren’t research. I am here for you, Ronan. Only you. I will never let anyone hurt you.

SOUND: Default text message received tone. Default text message sent tone.

RONAN: I hate liars.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m not lying. Your friend must have looked into my history. Did he find anything that would make him think I would put you in danger?

RONAN: And if he missed something?

DR. BRIGHT: I will never ask you to share more about your abilities than you are comfortable with. I care about you, Ronan. I can see that you’re hurting and I want you to get better. You came so far today, farther than I could have hoped. It took strength and courage to open up to me. I don’t want you to hurt any more, Ronan. You deserve to be happy. 

SOUND: Heavy, fast footsteps and a door opening.

ADAM: (A little breathless) Ronan.

RONAN: (Stiffly) Not murdered. Let’s go.

SOUND: Footsteps.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m not going to hurt him.

ADAM: I’ll make sure you don’t.

DR. BRIGHT: Wait. (Whispered) Can you stay with him tonight?

ADAM: Why?

DR. BRIGHT: We talked about some difficult things. Sometimes when people do that, their symptoms become worse for a time, including nightmares.

ADAM: (Low) What did you do?

DR. BRIGHT: Therapy.

RONAN: (From farther away) Adam, don’t make her piss herself.

SOUND: Footsteps, door closes.

DR. BRIGHT: (Trying to compose herself and failing miserably) Patient-- Patient Sixteen. Class unknown. Patient has-- patient... I think he was telling the truth. I-- I may have let the most powerful atypical walk out of my office. I can never let The AM know of this. Even he can’t imagine what they would do to him.

I have to find a way to get him back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Voicemail of Richard Gansey III, June 19**

ADAM: Call me.

**Voicemail of Dr. Bright, June 19**

RONAN: What the fuck, Bright! “It will make things worse but then you’ll feel better?” You lying bitch. _I had it under control!_ What the hell did you do to me? What--

SOUND: Indistinct voice.

RONAN: (Aside.) Shut up. I’m not done. (Back into the phone) I trusted you. You fucked me over.

SOUND: A crow-- or is it a girl?-- shrieks.

RONAN: Fuck.

**Voicemail of Dr. Bright, June 26**

RONAN: You were right. Let’s talk.

**Patient #16, Session 5, June 29**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, classification D-10. Session five. I previously met with patient outside of the office, at his insistence. I did not record these as patient asked for this to be kept strictly off record. I had enough trouble re-establishing a rapport without violating our agreement.

Patient was extremely agitated. He had a physical outburst more than once, though never directed at me. I doubt it was his intention to intimidate. He is still learning how to process his emotions. Obviously this is an area requiring improvement, especially if he is to regain control of his abilities.

Patient reported nightmares the night of our second session. I suspected they would challenge him, but I didn’t realize how severe the consequences could be. Patient reported that he brought back a creature from his nightmare. It attacked him but he and his boyfriend overpowered it. A similar incident happened a year ago, before he gained control of his abilities. To say it was a tremendous step backward would be an understatement.

After revealing that his mother was a dream, I should have anticipated he could bring back other beings. I think even then I didn’t want to believe him. With anyone else I would suspect they were lying or exaggerating, but he did not appear psychotic and I haven’t met anyone who could fake that level of emotion. I have no proof of his claims, but he has always been genuine, if not forthcoming. I believe him. His paranoia isn’t from a mental illness. It’s entirely justified. He could do terrible things in the wrong hands and incredible things in the right ones. I can’t let him end our sessions again. It’s too dangerous.

(Sigh)

After reviewing our fourth session, I see that I pushed him too far. He didn’t have the appropriate coping mechanisms yet. It was a mistake even a masters student wouldn’t make. He was right. I did let my interest in his abilities affect my judgment. I would refer him to another therapist but as that is not an option, I will have to hope that a few weeks of soul-searching will be enough.

SOUND: Door opens.

DR. BRIGHT: (Trying to hide her excitement and relief) Ronan, thank you for coming.

SOUND: Door closes.

DR. BRIGHT: Would you like to sit?

RONAN: Not yet.

DR. BRIGHT: In the voicemail you left, you said I was right.

RONAN: It got worse. Then it got better.

SOUND: Snap of a leather wristband against skin.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you mean your nightmares?

SOUND: Another snap.

RONAN: I don’t think about it as much.

DR. BRIGHT: The day you found your father?

SOUND: Another snap.

RONAN: (Flat) Yeah.

SOUND: Ronan finally takes his seat.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m glad. I saw how difficult that was for you to remember.

RONAN: (Equally flat) I still have nightmares.

DR. BRIGHT: (Carefully) Have you had any more incidents like your first night?

RONAN: (Voice slowly returning to its usual cadence) No. They don’t get out. It’s only the blood.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you accidentally hurt yourself?

RONAN: (A subdued but normal tone) No. No, it’s dream blood. It’s really pissing Adam off.

DR. BRIGHT: Yes, I imagine that’s difficult for both of you to deal with.

RONAN: God, can we skip this and fucking fix it?

DR. BRIGHT: It’s not that simple, Ronan. Since I don’t know the full situation, this will take more time. I can only get to the root of the problem. You know your ability better than anyone else. Without knowing more, the rest is up to you.

SOUND: Couch shifting. Ronan’s getting up.

DR. BRIGHT: That’s the truth, Ronan. I’m letting you know what to expect, not trying to get information out of you.

SOUND: Couch shifting again. Ronan’s settled.

DR. BRIGHT: You had control for some time. If you use the same strategy from before, you should improve over time. ...That’s not a very good face, Ronan.

RONAN: Yeah, that strategy’s not an option anymore.

DR. BRIGHT: I see.

(Silence as Dr. Bright searches for another angle and Ronan searches for a scrap of trust.)

Your ability is a part of you. Mental illness can affect it, just as it affects your brain and even your body. I’ve noticed that once a patient has successfully treated their illness, control of their ability has resolved on its own. Almost like it was sending a message. Perhaps it will be the same. (Now faking optimism) You’ll just have to keep safe until then. ...We only talked about your father for one session. It usually takes many more to properly process it. Do you still dream about him? (Pause, Ronan’s response is nonverbal) And do you still see him when you’re awake?

RONAN: Not as often.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m afraid I threw you into the pool before teaching you to swim. After re-experiencing trauma, the next few sessions are centered around unpacking the resulting emotions. We didn’t get that chance.

RONAN: That’s not my fault.

DR. BRIGHT: No, you’re right. It’s not. I’d like the chance to make it up to you.

RONAN: What feelings am I unpacking?

DR. BRIGHT: You know yourself best, but I’m sure you’ll agree with anger.

RONAN: That’s a lost cause.

DR. BRIGHT: Only if you let it be.

SOUND: Ronan mutters indistinct curses.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you tried breathing exercises when you feel yourself getting angry?

RONAN: Sweet Mary mother of Jesus, I told you. It’s a lost cause. I’ve tried. Breathing, talking, punching. I can’t stop it.

DR. BRIGHT: Why are you angry?

RONAN: The fuck is-- Adam’s right. You are the shittiest therapist to walk the earth.

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t mean what caused it. I know this is from your father’s death. But when you told me about how you felt when you found him, you felt many things but you never mentioned anger.

RONAN: Do _I_ need to tell you about the stages of grief? I just found my dad’s body. I was in shock.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re angry now. Tell me why.

RONAN: You’re an idiot.

DR. BRIGHT: And why do you feel anger instead of say, pity?

RONAN: Because you’re supposed to be helping me. I trusted you to help me.

DR. BRIGHT: And I broke that trust.

RONAN: Do you have a point to this or can I go?

DR. BRIGHT: My point is, you’re not only angry. You’re hurt.

RONAN: What the f--

DR. BRIGHT: You’re hurt that I broke your trust and that is why you’re angry. You hoped that I could help you, when so many people haven’t been able to, and I didn’t. You’re disappointed and hurt.

RONAN: (Exasperated) Stop that! How do you know?

DR. BRIGHT: Am I wrong?

RONAN: You’re not! How do you know that?

DR. BRIGHT: I didn’t. But I have enough experience to make very good guesses. (Lighter) I am a doctor.

RONAN: (Deflating) It’s creepy as hell.

DR. BRIGHT: Maybe, but did it help? You’re not yelling.

RONAN: Give it time.

DR. BRIGHT: Can you tell me why you’re angry about your father’s death?

RONAN: Because he’s dead! They killed him because he told them what we can do. And a bunch of power hungry bastards fucking killed him because they thought they could intimidate my brother into giving up that “artifact.” It was for nothing. There wasn’t any reason! They decided to kill him for a thing but they were killing what they wanted. It’s totally-- fucking backwards and for nothing and…

DR. BRIGHT: Breathe, Ronan.

SOUND: Deep breathing.

RONAN: (Calmer but still angry) If he hadn’t told them, this wouldn’t have happened. They wouldn’t have tracked me down. I wouldn’t have psychopaths after me and my friends. Mom wouldn’t fallen asleep. She’d be alive. It was my fault, but if he hadn’t-- He made me promise not to tell anyone. I didn’t. He told me not to. He knew it was dangerous. Why would he do that?  
(Heavy breathing, calming down again) I-- I wasn’t supposed to find him. They wanted Declan to see. ...Oh God, what did I say. Why did I say...

DR. BRIGHT: What are you feeling now?

RONAN: Like an ungrateful shithead.

DR. BRIGHT: You know what I mean, Ronan.

RONAN: Guilty. Ashamed.

DR. BRIGHT: Because?

RONAN: He’s my dad.

DR. BRIGHT: You can still be mad at your father, even if he’s dead. That doesn’t make you a bad son or a bad person.

RONAN: (Quietly) I wish Declan had found him.

DR. BRIGHT: That doesn’t make you a bad brother, either.

RONAN: Yeah, beating the shit out of him does.

DR. BRIGHT: Pardon?

RONAN: Lynch brother bonding. We hate each other. Hated. He kept us from our mom.

DR. BRIGHT: Clearly something to talk about later. What I’m hearing now is you’re feeling very hurt and guilty but you haven’t let yourself feel it. The only way you know how to process that is through anger. It doesn’t have to be like that.

RONAN: (Scoffs) Yeah, how?

DR. BRIGHT: Do you feel better now that we’ve talked?

RONAN: I get your point.

SOUND: Default text received tone. Default text sent tone.

RONAN: How else do I deal with it?

DR. BRIGHT: Is talking that bad?

RONAN: Yes.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, I thought you don’t lie.

RONAN: I don’t.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you ever talk about your feelings?

RONAN: It’s called therapy.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan.

RONAN: I can’t.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t want to. There’s a difference.

RONAN: Fine! Then I don’t want to.

DR. BRIGHT: Why?

RONAN: (Groans) Because-- you seriously want me to do this shit?

DR. BRIGHT: Mmhmm.

RONAN: Because… I don’t want them to know.

DR. BRIGHT: And?

RONAN: (Frustrated) Because I don’t want them to think… I’m… I… (Now getting angry that he can’t find the words.) Crap.

DR. BRIGHT: That you’re not strong?

RONAN: Close enough.

DR. BRIGHT: I’d say it takes more strength to allow yourself to feel vulnerable.

RONAN: I don’t want to.

DR. BRIGHT: (Amused) I’ve noticed that, Ronan.

RONAN: Can’t I punch something?

DR. BRIGHT: I can’t stop you, but has it ever helped? (Pause, takes his silence for an answer) There is something else. You can try writing.

RONAN: Oh, Christ.

DR. BRIGHT: There’s also art? With your-- talent-- you must be a creative person.

RONAN: Not that kind.

DR. BRIGHT: You might surprise yourself. There’s always singing? Didn’t you say you’re a singer?

RONAN: I used to be.

DR. BRIGHT: Why did you stop?

RONAN: He taught me.

DR. BRIGHT: Then let’s stay with writing for now. Every few hours, I’d like you to stop and write how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. If you can’t think of anything, then write whatever comes to mind. Don’t do it three hours before you sleep. You stop earlier if you think it will make your dreams worse. How does that sound?

RONAN: (Flat) You’re giving me homework.

DR. BRIGHT: Think of them as exercises for your mind. It uses cognitive behavioral therapy and it’s well known. If you lose these, you could probably find them on google.

RONAN: I’m still seeing homework.

DR. BRIGHT: However you see it, I’d like you to do it.

RONAN: Seriously?

DR. BRIGHT: I promise I won’t grade you.

RONAN: Fuck. I dropped out to avoid this boring BS.

DR. BRIGHT: It is optional. But it will help.

RONAN: (Groans) If I remember.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ll take that. It looks like we’re a little over our time. You may not like to, but you have a lot to talk about. (Sincere) I’m glad you gave me another chance, Ronan.

RONAN: Don’t blow it.

SOUND: Couch shifting and chair creaking as they stand.

DR. BRIGHT: Then I’ll see you next week?

RONAN: Let me sleep on it.

SOUND: Door opens, footsteps

RONAN: You’ll love this. I have homework.

ADAM: Oh my God.

RONAN: Don’t laugh, you ass.

SOUND: Door closes before he finishes the sentence.

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen’s session went well. Finally. It was a rough start but I think I smoothed some edges. As I thought, patient has a complicated history but there was little new information and without context all of it is meaningless. I’ll have to wait until he’s comfortable. For now, teaching him to understand his emotions will be challenging enough. But I’ve given him the tools. Hopefully he’ll use them. My other patients have made improvements through artistic expression. And here Ronan has the most expressive of them all. I wonder if he isn’t accidentally losing control when he brings back his “night horrors.” It’s possible he’s denied his feelings so much, his mind is physically expressing his pain. My first guess at psychosomatic element might not be far off. (Frustrated) If only I knew more about his abilities, I could have suggested a way to use his them to help and not hurt him. He’s paying the price for my mistake. I’ve grown too used to incorporating people’s abilities into their therapy. I’ll have to change that while I build on the trust we’ve re-established.

His next session will depend on how much progress he’s made. His rebellion against the idea of homework was not encouraging, but I’ve been surprised before. He is more motivated than most of my clients. Who wouldn’t be if they could have a monster jump out of their mind every night?

I have some homework myself. (Darkly) My meeting with Agent Green is in a few days. I still haven’t told him about Ronan and I intend to keep it that way. If he’s learned I have a new patient, I’ll have to think of a convincing lie. It shouldn’t be too hard. I owe it to Ronan. If this ability led to his father’s death, I can’t let it happen again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Voicemail of Adam Parrish, July 3**

GANSEY: Hello, Adam. Blue, Henry, and I want to wish you a happy birthday. I suspect you’re with Ronan, so we all say hello to him too. I know I’ve said it before but I’m sorry for not listening to you. I hope he’s making progress again. You will let me know if anything happens again? He only talks about you and Opal. I hope that today you’re both-- having fun-- celebrating--

HENRY: (Yelling) I think Gansey-boy means sex.

BLUE: (Simultaneously, muffled) Henry!  
GANSEY: (Simultaneously, not muffled) Henry! (Back to the phone) I’m sorry. That is not what I meant. I’ll talk to him later.

(Clears throat)

I’ve thought about what you asked me. There’s nothing I can do here but I spoke with Helen. I promised her you wouldn’t cause an international incident if you found anything. If you need her number, it’s...

**Patient #16, D-10, Session 6, July 6**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, Class D-10. Patient scheduled our sixth session. He didn’t yell at me so it’s likely he’s made some progress. I hope to develop a clearer timeframe for our sessions. Patient is currently safe, but I admit I feel pressured to finish his treatment. He poses some unique risks. If he has completed his assignment for the week, I’ll introduce cognitive behavioral therapy worksheets. With most patients we jokingly use “homework” to motivate them. It’s the opposite with Ronan. I’ll have to rely on the fact that he truly wants to get better, or else he never would have made a second appointment. Or the third. If I can’t convince him, then the focus will continue to be on psychotherapy alone until I find another option.

SOUND: Door opening

DR. BRIGHT: Hello, Ronan. It’s good to see you.

SOUND: Ronan taking his seat.

DR. BRIGHT: How have you been? Did you do those exercises?

RONAN: I was busy.

DR. BRIGHT: (Same as before, there is no awkwardness to smooth over yet as Ronan’s response was nonverbal.) It was the Fourth of July. There’s a lot to do. Did you see fireworks? …What’s that face?

RONAN: Mine.

DR. BRIGHT: I take it this wasn’t a good week?

RONAN: It was.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t seem happy.

RONAN: (Reciting) Call no man happy until he is dead.

DR. BRIGHT: Who said that? 

RONAN: Herodotus quotes it. Can’t remember who said it.

DR. BRIGHT: (Impressed) You’ve read Herodotus?

RONAN: Some.

DR. BRIGHT: Why do you like him?

RONAN: Insomnia.

DR. BRIGHT: Ah. Is there any reason for that particular quote?

RONAN: Asked. Answered.

DR. BRIGHT: So to paraphrase Herodotus, you aren’t happy.

RONAN: (Sarcastic) Brilliant.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you had any more incidents?

RONAN: The usual.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re not giving me much to go off of, Ronan.

RONAN: The usual. Blood. Crap. I made Opal a doll that looks right out of a page from the Inferno.

DR. BRIGHT: Who’s Opal?

RONAN: She’s family.

DR. BRIGHT: You haven’t mentioned her.

RONAN: Is this therapy or ancestry.com?

DR. BRIGHT: Therapy, but I don’t do all the work, Ronan. Actually, you do most of it. Speaking of which, did you write anything at all?

RONAN: Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: Did it help?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: It can take time. So when are you going to tell me what happened? (Pause, the response to her was nonverbal) Was it the Fourth of July?

RONAN: I wanted Matthew to come and he didn’t. Declan had something planned. Big city lights, big city fireworks.

DR. BRIGHT: You weren’t invited?

RONAN: I’m not going to D.C. Adam’s birthday was the day before anyway.

DR. BRIGHT: I hope that at least went well?

RONAN: Yeah. (Awkwardly) We had… fun.

DR. BRIGHT: (Amused, she knows how this goes.) I’m glad to hear it. But you wanted to celebrate with your family?

RONAN: I wanted to…

DR. BRIGHT: Yes?

RONAN: Nothing.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan. Like I said, I can’t do all the work.

RONAN: I fucked up last year. Matthew almost died.

DR. BRIGHT: (Softly) Why haven’t you mentioned this?

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: Was it because of your abilities?

SOUND: Couch cushion hitting a wall.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan! You know I will not tolerate that here and that there are better ways to deal with your anger. I have seen you do it.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: Was it a night horror?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: We’re at an impasse. I promised not to ask you about your abilities, but it doesn’t sound like there’s another way to tell me. Is there?

RONAN: You wouldn’t believe it.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve heard a lot, Ronan. You might be surprised.

RONAN: Psychics? Ley lines?

DR. BRIGHT: You’ve met other atypicals?

RONAN: A-what?

DR. BRIGHT: It’s how I refer to people with unique abilities, like yourself.

RONAN: You’re lumping me in with psychics?

DR. BRIGHT: Only in a general sense. How does this involve ley lines?

RONAN: They’re like a battery.

DR. BRIGHT: For your abilities?

RONAN: Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: That’s how you can create energy and matter here. You’re bringing it--

RONAN: I knew you wouldn’t get it. The world’s not all science, Bright. Drop the physics crap.

DR. BRIGHT: What would you say it is?

RONAN: Abracadabra.

DR. BRIGHT: Some say magic is science that we don’t understand yet.

RONAN: Wouldn’t rule it out. Not that we’ll find out.

DR. BRIGHT: Perhaps. What does this have to do with what happened to your brother?

RONAN: Fuck it, he’s dead. This shithead with my ability drained most of the power, went crazy, tried to kill people, ended up dead.

DR. BRIGHT: He tried to kill your brother.

RONAN: And my friends, me, other people. He was crazy.

DR. BRIGHT: Does this have to do with the “dream crash course” you mentioned before.

RONAN: Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: Is he the one who taught you?

RONAN: Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: You blame yourself for what happened.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: I doubt it was. He was responsible for his own actions. Will you tell me about it?

RONAN: We used to street race him and his group. Mostly him. I’d beat his ass nine times out of ten. I thought that’s why he fucked with me. I think the only reason he street raced me because I can dream. He saw me bring back this. Knew since then. I had no fucking idea. It’s so obvious now. I thought it was only my dad and me.

DR. BRIGHT: Was he related to you?

RONAN: He was Bulgarian.

DR. BRIGHT: You never know.

RONAN: I know. Not related.

DR. BRIGHT: Interesting.

RONAN: Interesting what?

DR. BRIGHT: It’s unusual you would meet someone else with your abilities. I believe it is rare.

RONAN: (Sarcastic) Thank you, Jesus.

DR. BRIGHT: You said it is obvious now he could dream.

RONAN: He forged IDs or whatever you wanted, made drugs no one heard of, and on the Fourth of July-- see where I’m going.

DR. BRIGHT: I believe I do. How did you find out about his abilities?

RONAN: I took Gansey’s car and raced him. I lost. A night horror landed on the car. I crashed it. Kavinsky shot it.

DR. BRIGHT: Of course, the car accident. This was one of your night horrors?

RONAN: Yeah. I brought two back. I killed one, the other got out. After Kavinsky killed it he took me to a field of dreams. These were all identical Mitsubishis. He drove them. Any time he scratched it he made a new one. Jesus. Cabeswater--

DR. BRIGHT: Yes?

RONAN: My memory’s shit for the next few days.

DR. BRIGHT: (Suspicious) What do you remember?

RONAN: I got drunk. I had to get Gansey’s car back. His car. His always breaking down, crap engine car.

DR. BRIGHT: You stole your friend’s car.

RONAN: I know. I-- Christ. I know. I fucked up. Fuck up number one.

DR. BRIGHT: And that’s when you dreamed the replacement.

RONAN: It took days. Before then, I couldn’t choose what to take back. Whatever my dreams gave me, if I wanted it bad enough I’d take it back. I’d only figured out how to make the key to the Pig. You know how much shit is in a car?

DR. BRIGHT: Kavinsky taught you how to make it?

RONAN: Gansey needed that car. He loves it. He would’ve killed me.

DR. BRIGHT: Did you tell him?

RONAN: Of course, I told him. Kavinsky told him when I was passed out or whatever but I would’ve told him. If I hadn’t, Noah would’ve.

DR. BRIGHT: Was he upset?

RONAN: Yeah. It was his car but we didn’t have time for that. He likes the one he’s got now. I gave Blue a matching one so they better fucking like it.

DR. BRIGHT: Let’s slow down a moment. Why are you justifying dreaming his replacement? Is it because Kavinsky taught you how?

RONAN: Yeah. Partly.

DR. BRIGHT: What’s the rest?

RONAN: We were stealing the power. Cabeswater-- the ley line gave it to me before. We almost sucked the life out of it. I didn’t know until the end.

DR. BRIGHT: Has it recovered now?

RONAN: You said slow down. That’s pushing a hundred mph.

DR. BRIGHT: How-- (Cuts herself off)

RONAN: How’d I do it?

DR. BRIGHT: If you’re comfortable sharing.

RONAN: He made drugs that knocked us out. Throw yourself into dreams, jerk yourself back. I think we spent days doing that.

DR. BRIGHT: (Sighs) I hope you don’t do that now.

RONAN: Why would I? I got the car. I don’t need to. Wouldn’t dream that shit anyway and Kavinsky’s dead. Supplier’s gone.

DR. BRIGHT: What was it like, taking these drugs?

RONAN: Told you. It was like being thrown into sleep. Last one Kavinsky gave me shut everything down. I collapsed on the car, I don’t know if I hallucinated or what. One moment Kavinsky’s touching my back the next he’s doing coke.

DR. BRIGHT: Touching you?

RONAN: Down my back. More like the tattoo. It goes way down. It-- what’s that face?

DR. BRIGHT: I’m trying to understand. He touched your back?

RONAN: ...Yeah?

DR. BRIGHT: And then you passed out?

RONAN: I told you.

DR. BRIGHT: Is that all he did?

RONAN: Coke. Like I said-- oh. Oh. I hadn’t thought of-- oh, gross.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put that idea in your head.

RONAN: Oh shit, is that why he-- oh fuck, K. What the fuck.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, he might not have--

RONAN: No, he didn’t. I think. … Oh, that’s sick. That’s why. Shit. That’s why he asked. God, that’s fucked. A dream roofie?

DR. BRIGHT: I know it’s difficult to reframe that memory, but you weren’t to blame for it.

RONAN: I took drugs for days. Don’t tell me that’s not a fuck up.

DR. BRIGHT: It may not have been the best decision and I don’t encourage any future substance abuse. But if this was after a car accident, it sounds like he was taking advantage of you at a vulnerable time.

RONAN: Don’t use that phrase. Fuck.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re less to blame for this than you think.

RONAN: I’m not blaming myself for K being a perverted druggie fuckhead. God, how did I not see that one?

DR. BRIGHT: It sounds like you are blaming yourself.

RONAN: Vulnerable time. Yeah. Whatever. Don’t you want to hold me responsible for my shit?

DR. BRIGHT: It’s fair to hold you accountable for your friend’s car. I’ll give you a pass on the days after.

RONAN: Shit.

DR. BRIGHT: What are you feeling right now?

RONAN: Gross. Really gross.

DR. BRIGHT: Someone touching you without your consent does not make you gross. That reflects on them, not you.

RONAN: I don’t… I can’t think about this.

DR. BRIGHT: We can always talk about this later.

RONAN: Yeah. Yeah. So… I-- I made the car and went to go meet Gansey. Kavinsky wanted me to be his lackey or dream partner in crime or whatever. I said no. He lost his shit. Kidnapped my brother for his Fourth of July party. Shoved him in a car when there was a field full of identical fucking cars. Then he took one of those drugs to dream a monster. I followed him. Adam supercharged the ley line in time for me to bring back a night horror to fight his fire dragon. It stopped it long enough to keep from incinerating Gansey and Blue. They were looking for Matthew. He wasn’t there. Kavinsky had shoved him into the trunk of the car he was on. I got him out as Kavinsky’s monster came at us. I got Matthew down. I tried to get Kavinsky but he stood there. They hate what you hate. He hated himself. Some way to kill yourself.

DR. BRIGHT: You tried to save him.

RONAN: I won’t shed any tears but he was still a human being. I wanted him to die but I didn’t want him to kill himself. What’s that face?

DR. BRIGHT: It’s wonderful that you have that much compassion, even after everything you’ve been through. A lot of people wish they could feel that way about people.

RONAN: God, do even you know me?

DR. BRIGHT: Do I?

SOUND: Three heavy knocks on the door.

ADAM: (Through the door) Ronan!

RONAN: What?

SOUND: Door opening.

ADAM: Why are you trying to make me think you’re dead?

RONAN: What are you-- oh shit. My phone was on silent.

ADAM: I almost got a speeding ticket for you, you asshole.

DR. BRIGHT: Adam, I really do want what’s best for Ronan. Please try not to worry.

ADAM: I don’t have time to worry if it’s not justified, Dr. Bright. Ronan, all I ask is one hour to answer your phone. One.

RONAN: (Teasing) I’ll find a church bell ringtone for you. Look. Sound’s on now.

ADAM: (Flirting back) Should I be concerned about you associating me with church? (Awkwardly now as he remembers Dr. Bright) I’ll be outside.

RONAN: Can I have another hour? Is that good?

DR. BRIGHT: My schedule is free. I can make an exception.

RONAN: Thanks. Adam--

ADAM: I’ve got a course catalog and FAFSA.

RONAN: (Dejected) You don’t have to stay.

ADAM: (Firmly) I’ll wait.

RONAN: Sure. See you.

SOUND: Door closes, both returning to their seats.

RONAN: You got me wrong before. It’s not compassion.

DR. BRIGHT: Then why did you try to save his life?

RONAN: I didn’t try. I yelled at him... At first, I thought I could kill him. It’d be easy to do. He was completely fucked up. It would have saved Matthew, stop his dreams, but I couldn’t. He was a person. I fucking hate him and maybe he did deserve to die, but I didn’t want him to. He was that douchebag who taunted me until I raced him, took every chance he got to rip into me. We were never friends. I never wanted to be. But for a while the only time I really felt alive was when I was racing him and his crew.

DR. BRIGHT: I can understand that. He was a destructive force in your life, but in the moment he was one of your most effective coping mechanisms.

RONAN: I get what you’re saying but that’s not it. You’re right about all of that but that’s not why. Like I said. He was a person.

DR. BRIGHT: Hm.

RONAN: You’ve got that look again.

DR. BRIGHT: For a man who loves to intimidate people and throw things around, you have a kind heart.

RONAN: I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that. It’s not kind to have some fundamental respect for life.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t have to believe that yet. You look like something else is bothering you. What is it?

RONAN: It’s not only the whole respecting life shit. That could have been me. I have this-- ability. If things were different, I could have done that. After my dad, I wasn’t doing great. You know that. I was drinking and racing Kavinsky and I just didn’t fucking care.

DR. BRIGHT: Does that scare you?

RONAN: No. It’s a mindfuck but it’s not scary.

DR. BRIGHT: If you are, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid.

RONAN: No, I’m not. I don’t think I am. It’s weird. I can’t think of a word for it.

DR. BRIGHT: Sympathy?

SILENCE

RONAN: (Surprised) You’re right. (A light laugh) I feel sympathy for the scumbag.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s a rare person who feels compassion for someone who’s hurt them. I know I have trouble with it.

RONAN: Stop pretending I’m a good person.

DR. BRIGHT: Can you at least entertain the idea?

RONAN: I’m cracking up inside.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s a start. What happened to the dream dragon?

RONAN: When the dreamer dies, the dream sleeps. That’s what happened to it and one of Kavinsky’s friends. If he had friends.

DR. BRIGHT: He dreamed a friend for himself?

RONAN: It’s not as hard as you think.

DR. BRIGHT: How do you know?

RONAN: I don’t dream my friends.

DR. BRIGHT: Right. I’m sorry for interrupting.

RONAN: I told Matthew about Dad and me. That’s it.

DR. BRIGHT: What about your night horror?

RONAN: It hates what I hate. I stopped hating myself.

DR. BRIGHT: You had it under control.

RONAN: You had me thinking the light bulb in your head broke. Good to see it works after all.

DR. BRIGHT: I do see a clearer picture. You turned all those mistakes into something good and then you lost it.

RONAN: I’ll get it back.

DR. BRIGHT: You will. I’ll help you. Without drugs this time.

RONAN: I’ve swallowed enough pills.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t seem upset over it now. Are you more upset about Matthew?

RONAN: Mostly.

DR. BRIGHT: How did he handle all of that? Was he mad at you?

RONAN: (Laughs) I don’t know if Matthew can ever not love me. He’s got all my good-- everything good that was supposed to go to Declan and me. He says he doesn’t care about it. Declan’s the one who broke up the happy family.

DR. BRIGHT: Were you hoping to somehow make it up to your brother this Fourth of July, even if he says it doesn’t bother him?

RONAN: Yeah. I don’t deserve him. I don’t know how I got him.

DR. BRIGHT: What happened to him wasn’t your fault. Kavinsky made a series of cruel decisions. You had no way of knowing he’d react that way. Kidnapping your brother is extreme. More than most people would expect.

RONAN: I shouldn’t have ever talked to him. Everyone told me he’d fuck me over.

DR. BRIGHT: It sounds like he was obsessed over your shared ability as much as you. I’m not sure ignoring him would have changed anything.

RONAN: (Complete tone shift, this is what bothers him) Why did they forgive me?

DR. BRIGHT: Matthew and your friends? Because they care about you. The specific reasons are their own, but they wouldn’t still be with you if they didn’t care.

SOUND: Default text received.

RONAN: Hour’s up.

DR. BRIGHT: I hope you don’t need another.

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: Then same time next week?

RONAN: Sure. One hour.

DR. BRIGHT: This was an exception. One last thing. This might be too personal, but you said that Adam charged the ley line again?

RONAN: I did.

DR. BRIGHT: Is he an atypical?

RONAN: No, he’s his own kind of special.

SOUND: Footsteps, door opening

RONAN: Let’s get this over with.

ADAM: Oh, stop--

SOUND: Door closing.

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen’s session had quite a few bombshells. Patient displayed no need to talk about his father’s death. He genuinely seemed more preoccupied with his current relationships. While his anxiety may be extreme, it’s not an uncommon problem for young adults his age. I expect I’ll go through the same with Caleb. It reminds me of when I started college. (Laughs) Mark was…

I expect Patient Sixteen’s next session will focus on his trauma again. That isn’t accurate. Having your brother kidnapped is traumatic enough.

As for Patient Sixteen’s abilities, those answers have prompted even more questions. I believe he is a class D. His dreams may allow him to step into another dimension. Perhaps he can shape how the matter manifests in this world when he returns. But how can that explain creating a sentient being? I’ve been giving therapy to someone who could create his own Garden of Eden. Or his own hell. I’m amazed that the AM didn’t learn of Kavinsky. They would have acted by now. I imagined what that power could do in the wrong hands. Now I know. Dragons and drugs are a terrifying taste of it. I hope Ronan is the only one with this ability now, or someone like him. All he wants is to keep his family safe. If I can learn more about his abilities, maybe I could help him. But how safe is it to bring an entire piece of a dream universe into reality?


	7. Chapter 7

**Patient #16, Session 7, July 13**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, currently D-9, seventh session. Patient has made some improvements since he lost control of his abilities. The progress might be slow now, but hopefully it’ll pick up. 

SOUND: A knock on the door. A desk drawer closes as Dr. Bright tucks the recorder away before the door opens.

DR. BRIGHT: Hello, Ronan. It’s good to see you.

RONAN: (Light, at least for Ronan) Can’t say the same.

DR. BRIGHT: (Teasing) And yet you’re here.

RONAN: Don’t make me regret it.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ll try not to. How are your dreams?

RONAN: Better. Didn’t bring back a night horror or blood.

DR. BRIGHT: That’s wonderful.

RONAN: Still a long way to go, Bright. You’re not off the hook.

DR. BRIGHT: We’ll keep working, Ronan. Did you do those exercises?

RONAN: They’re garbage. How is writing out my “negative” thoughts supposed to help?

DR. BRIGHT: Because the second step is to think about why you thought them and counter it with a reasoned argument. Tell me you did the second step.

RONAN: I was crap at it.

DR. BRIGHT: Would it help to go over them?

RONAN: Whoa, I’m not showing them to you. Yeah, you’re my therapist but there are some lines you can’t cross.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve noticed. It doesn’t matter if what you write to refute it is convincing or not, I’d like you to write it down anyway. All I want is for you to think about how your negative thoughts are unhealthy. Even if you don’t believe it, it sinks in eventually.

RONAN: One of those weird subconscious brain things?

DR. BRIGHT: Yes, I suppose so. Will you keep trying?

RONAN: Whatever. Sure.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m glad. Have you thought about anything we’ve talked about? I know we covered a lot last session.

RONAN: Understatement.

DR. BRIGHT: Well? What about what you experienced with Kavinsky?

RONAN: You mean the (Imitating not Dr. Bright but more like a passionate new age yoga instructor) “Ronan, get in touch with your kind heart and it will show you the way,” thing or the pervert thing?

DR. BRIGHT: Either one.

RONAN: I talked to Adam. He wanted to know what the hell was taking so long in there. His reaction was terrifying and funny and impressive all at the same time.

DR. BRIGHT: This was about Kavinsky’s inappropriate actions?

RONAN: Yeah. I never told him the whole story. Gansey got the rundown, so Adam did through him, but that was it. He already hated K but-- (He makes a low whistle.) Oh man, that was something. I told him it wasn’t a big deal and to stop calling me an idiot.

DR. BRIGHT: He what?

RONAN: Oh no that wasn’t what do you feminists call it? Victim-blamey shit? That was about the string of stupid decisions leading up it.

DR. BRIGHT: “You feminists?”

RONAN: Bright, come on. I get enough of that from Blue.

DR. BRIGHT: It was my first reaction.

RONAN: After all the times I’ve said bitch in here--

DR. BRIGHT: (Quickly) Let’s work on that later. Now, Adam.

RONAN: It’s fine. He cooled off.

DR. BRIGHT: And how do you feel about it?

RONAN: It happened. It’s fucking creepy and gross, but it wasn’t anything more than a touch.

DR. BRIGHT: Does it bother you that you couldn’t move at the time?

RONAN: That’s nothing new.

DR. BRIGHT: What do you mean?

RONAN: (Dodging) Sleep paralysis.

DR. BRIGHT: (Recognizing it) I see.

RONAN: I wonder if that’s why it bothered Adam.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m sure there were other reasons. But I can see how that in particular would upset him. As I recall, his autonomy of any kind is important to him. Paralysis is the ultimate loss of control.

RONAN: No, it’s not.

DR. BRIGHT: Oh?

RONAN: (Dismissive) I’m sure there’s something else out there.

DR. BRIGHT: (Sure, Ronan) Hm. (Normal) Well, he seems to be more concerned than mad at you. Last time, you mentioned that you didn’t understand why Matthew and your friends forgave you. Do you understand more now?

RONAN: Adam doesn’t always make good decisions.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan.

RONAN: (Hostile) No, I don’t understand.

DR. BRIGHT: If your positions were reversed, would you forgive them?

RONAN: Yeah.

DR. BRIGHT: Then why is it so hard to believe they’d forgive you?

RONAN: Don’t fucking say I’m a good person.

DR. BRIGHT: You haven’t answered my question.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: What are you feeling?

RONAN: (Frustrated) We’re doing this again?

DR. BRIGHT: Yes, we are.

RONAN: This is pointless!

DR. BRIGHT: Why are you feeling angry now?

RONAN: You-- fuck! Why do you have to do that. Don’t answer. Rhetorical question.

DR. BRIGHT: Mine wasn’t.

RONAN: I don’t want to deal with this! That’s why. (deep breathing, he knows more is required) What if they change their mind?

DR. BRIGHT: Have they given you any sign they would?

RONAN: They’re leaving.

SILENCE. _This_ is the big one.

RONAN: Matthew’s gone, making friends and I miss him. And he’s my-- my fucking brother. He has to like me. They don’t. Gansey and Blue are in South America for God knows how long. A whole year maybe. They brought Henry to join them on that fucking bonding trip. You heard Adam. He’s going to college. Ivy league. He might even go for grad school.

DR. BRIGHT: And that scares you?

RONAN: (Evading) There aren’t many options for friends in Henrietta and I was about last in all of them, even before-- this. What if Adam gets he can do better? Or any of them?

DR. BRIGHT: If it’s true that you were the last option for most people, doesn’t that go against your argument? They had other opportunities for friendship in Henrietta and they still chose to be your friend. Your boyfriend.

RONAN: Yeah, that was a second choice kinda thing.

DR. BRIGHT: You mean Adam?

RONAN: Forget it.

DR. BRIGHT: What do you mean?

RONAN: Just that-- he dated Blue first and that blew up. And only after-- look, I’m over it. I don’t know why I brought it up.

DR. BRIGHT: (Expecting to point out a double standard) Did you never date anyone before Adam?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: (After a moment) At the risk of sounding old, I can tell you that I’ve dated a few people. The order I dated them in never mattered. Some people do use another relationship to cope with the loss of one, but I don’t think you have to worry about that.

RONAN: (Quietly) I don’t.

DR. BRIGHT: Did it not bother you before?

RONAN: No. I fucking loved that they broke up and I wanted to hate Blue. I did hate her but she grew on me. Then she started dating Gansey so I was stuck. And Adam likes me now. There wasn’t a point in being jealous after that.

DR. BRIGHT: You brought it up now.

RONAN: (Pause) I’ve thought about it recently.

DR. BRIGHT: Could it be that you’re only worrying about it now because you’re using it as an example to justify your fears that they’ll leave you?

RONAN: I hadn’t thought of it that way.

DR. BRIGHT: Does it sound right?

RONAN: (Quietly) Yeah, it does.

DR. BRIGHT: There are no guarantees in life. I want to promise you that you will always remain friends and close, but I can’t. I can tell you that just because they’re not physically present doesn’t mean they won’t still be in your life. It’s harder to maintain a long distance relationship of any kind, but there are many ways to keep in contact.

RONAN: I know. I’ve touched my phone this summer so much I’m disgusted with myself.

DR. BRIGHT: But you do it so you can talk to them.

RONAN: Biggest sacrifice I’ve made.

DR. BRIGHT: (Amused) Hm. (Normal) Ronan, even if you do drift apart and things don’t work out, the time you spent with them isn’t any less meaningful. They’ve brought a lot of happiness into your life and helped shape you into the man you are becoming. It may be bittersweet to remember--

SOUND: Church bells from Ronan’s phone.

RONAN: (Emotional, but amused) You had to say that.

DR. BRIGHT: You really did change his ringtone.

RONAN: Of course I did.

SOUND: Default text sent message.

RONAN: What the hell am I supposed to do, Bright?

DR. BRIGHT: That’s up to you, Ronan. You don’t have to stay in Henrietta forever.

RONAN: Yeah, I do.

DR. BRIGHT: What a time to end the session. Hold that thought until our next one. If you don’t, I’ll remember.

RONAN: Comforting.

SOUND: Footsteps, door opening and closing.

DR. BRIGHT: Patient’s seventh session. That was the progress I hoped for. I have a feeling I know the root cause of this, although there may be two. He hinted that before his father’s death, he still felt like an outcast. I know I should be working with him on his ability, but it seems to be stabilizing on their own. Maybe one day he’ll tell me more about it instead of letting things slip here and there. (Pause) I am of course more concerned with his emotional well being and I will stay that way.

**Voicemail of Ronan Lynch, July 17**

BLUE: (Teasing) Hey, I saw missed call: Ronan Lynch. Did you mean to call me or was that Opal playing with your phone again? No, I bet I’m hallucinating and you’re driving me crazy from thousands of miles away. Way to go, jerk. Leave a message next time so I’ll know for sure.


	8. Chapter 8

**Patient #16, Session 8, July 20**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, Class D-8. Eighth session. I’m bracing myself for today. Given last session, I have a feeling we’ll finally be able to talk about his parents again. If not, I’ll have to press the issue soon.

SOUND: Door opening

DR. BRIGHT: Hello, Ronan.

RONAN: I’m doing fine.

DR. BRIGHT: And predicting what I’m going to say.

RONAN: Not like it’s hard.

SOUND: Footsteps, them taking their seats as always.

DR. BRIGHT: I told you to hold your thought last session.

RONAN: I threw it away.

DR. BRIGHT: Time to dig it out of the trash.

RONAN: Where it belongs?

DR. BRIGHT: We can take it out and process it.

RONAN: Nope, you ruined it. You can’t take a metaphor that far.

DR. BRIGHT: Then let’s drop it. You said that you can’t leave Henrietta.

RONAN: I can’t leave my home. Henrietta’s just where it is.

DR. BRIGHT: What home?

RONAN: Mine. My family’s. The Barns.

DR. BRIGHT: I thought you weren’t allowed back.

RONAN: I wasn’t, then they found an addition to the will. I can’t officially live there until Matthew’s 18, but I can stay.

DR. BRIGHT: Why is it important to stay?

RONAN: It’s my home. I can’t leave.

DR. BRIGHT: Why not?

RONAN: It’s. Home. It’s all I knew as a kid. After Dad died, all I wanted to do was go back. It’s full of his dreams. The art, the silverware, the cows. It’s where I belong. It’s where dreams belong.

DR. BRIGHT: Yes, but you aren’t a dream.

RONAN: No, but I’m meant to be there. I didn’t realize how much until Declan let them kick us out. I helped Gansey clear out a warehouse that summer. I thought it’d be nice to stay there for a bit. We could do whatever we wanted. Then, I didn’t have a choice.

DR. BRIGHT: At a time when you most needed stability, your entire world changed.

RONAN: Thanks for the psychoanalysis. No way I would’ve figured that out.

DR. BRIGHT: And the only constants were your family and friends.

RONAN: Not family. We fell apart.

DR. BRIGHT: What about Matthew?

RONAN: We share custody of Matthew.

DR. BRIGHT: What was your relationship like growing up?

RONAN: With my brothers? We all loved Matthew. He’s that innocent lamb you fall in love with and try to keep the world from turning into veal.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you know that from experience?

RONAN: Declan never liked me. I thought he loved Mom and Dad but he didn’t. Not enough.

DR. BRIGHT: Why do you say that?

RONAN: He kept us from visiting our mom. He said she was nothing without dad. He was wrong. I took her-- (Stops abruptly, not scared he’ll say too much but hurt)  
He’d say bad things about Dad. I know now he’s not wrong. Dad did a lot of things I don’t agree with but he was great. Every time he’d come back, he’d tell stories and take us places and teach us music or boxing. Mom loved me, but Dad made us feel like the most important thing in the world. (Pause) Just not when he was gone.

SILENCE

RONAN: He made me feel like the most important thing. It was different with Declan. I didn’t notice it back then.

DR. BRIGHT: Of all his sons, you are the dreamer.

RONAN: He left me in the dark about everything anyway. Declan knew it all. He helped him with his business. He knew about me. Dad would talk to him about me. Declan might have lied about that, but even he has his limits. I don’t know why he never told me.

DR. BRIGHT: From what you’ve told me, your father’s business was less than savory at times.

RONAN: You don’t have to sugarcoat it.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you think he wanted to protect you from that?

RONAN: Yeah. He did. Declan told me that my dad wanted me to be someone different. He wanted me to be the hero, not the sword.

DR. BRIGHT: Can you elaborate on that?

RONAN: He wanted me to use my ability for something better. That’s what I got from it.

DR. BRIGHT: He shielded you, while Declan saw what happened behind the scenes. I imagine he knew about the circumstances behind your father’s death.

RONAN: I know. He has his reasons for feeling like he doesn’t belong. I’m giving him a pass there. I am trying to work with him but-- he kept us from our home and Mom.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you tried to make amends?

RONAN: How do you make amends for regularly beating the shit out of each other?

DR. BRIGHT: I’m sorry, what?

RONAN: Boxing lessons turned into the real deal after everything went to hell. Dad would be proud of our moves.

DR. BRIGHT: I doubt that.

RONAN: (Bitter) He’s dead. He can’t complain. If he wanted me to not hate Declan he should have stayed alive.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve told you, it’s alright to be upset about your father’s death. You don’t have to feel guilty for being angry.

RONAN: (Shocked at himself) I know.

DR. BRIGHT: Declan had to make a lot of decisions at a young age, ones I’m sure he didn’t agree with. From what you’ve said, he was enforcing your father’s will. When he did that, who were you angry at?

RONAN: (Immediately) Him. (Pause) And dad.

DR. BRIGHT: You didn’t allow yourself to be angry at your father, so you shifted it all to Declan. Is that a fair assessment?

RONAN: (Defensive) Hey, he is still a lying, cheating asshole.

DR. BRIGHT: I haven’t met him, so I can’t disagree with you. But you might be too harsh on him.

RONAN: Please. He has his girl or two of the week while he dates whatever blond chick of the season. No one else calls him out on his shit, which is fine with me. I love doing it.

SOUND: Church bells.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m sorry, I usually wouldn’t ask this, but can you say a while longer? I promise not to keep you for more than another hour.

RONAN: Yeah, if I text him that he’ll ask if you’ve stolen my phone. I’m calling. (After a moment) Hey, Adam. Can you give us another hour? … No, I am not being threatened with death and/or torture of me and all my loved ones. … Yes, I was being facetious but it’s true. Since when do you say facetious? … Nice one, text me again if you’re worried. … See you. (To Bright) Alright, hit me.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you and Declan ever gotten along?

RONAN: Once. We were young. But he hated me for being Dad’s favorite and I hated him for tricking everyone into thinking he’s a good person.

DR. BRIGHT: Were you jealous of him?

RONAN: Fuck, no.

SILENCE

RONAN: At school, everyone liked him more. You could only be friends with one of us. Everyone likes a liar.

DR. BRIGHT: Except your friends?

RONAN: Except Gansey. I only got everyone else cause I hung out with him. I think he only liked me cause I went along with his Welsh king obsession.

DR. BRIGHT: Or he likes you.

RONAN: That came later.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you feel like he was your friend because he had no one else?

RONAN: Gansey? You fucking kidding. He could’ve been friends with anyone. He was friendly with most of them.

DR. BRIGHT: But he chose you.

RONAN: I thought we were talking about Declan.

DR. BRIGHT: What do you want to say?

RONAN: What are you gonna ask?

DR. BRIGHT: You mean aside from that. How about-- what is your relationship like now? You said you’re trying to get along.

RONAN: Badly. We’re always gonna hate each other. He’s still my brother. He tried to keep Dad’s business out of our lives. He did a fucking terrible job but he tried to protect us so gold star for effort.

DR. BRIGHT: Matthew is staying with him now.

RONAN: Yeah, he took him from me too.

DR. BRIGHT: He didn’t take him. You and Matthew do love each other. Most siblings move away from each other eventually.

RONAN: Not Matthew. The Barns isn’t Declan’s home but it’s his.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, leaving doesn’t have to be forever.

RONAN: For me or them?

DR. BRIGHT: Both. Your home sounds like a beautiful place but part of growing up is making your own path in life.

RONAN: Fuck you.

DR. BRIGHT: (Pointed) Ronan.

RONAN: I’m not stunting my emotional growth or what the fuck ever. It’s my home. Why doesn’t anyone get it?

DR. BRIGHT: I do get it. I’m telling you that there is another option.

RONAN: I can’t. I need to dream there. It has to be safe.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, are you in any danger?

RONAN: No more than usual. It just has to be safe. I want to bring dad’s dreams back. The cows, the cats, the sheep. If I can do that, I can keep mine going when I die.

DR. BRIGHT: (No longer the therapist but the scientist) You dreamed someone.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: You’re afraid to leave because you’ll put them at risk. You want to make a refuge for them.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: (In awe-- it’s incredible and terrible) You dreamed your brother.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: (Realizing she went too far) Ronan. I won’t tell anyone. I won’t do anything to hurt him.

RONAN: (A simmering anger) How do you know?

DR. BRIGHT: (Calmly) Only from what you’ve told me. I’m familiar with atypical abilities and we’ve had seven sessions now. I’ve gotten to know you fairly well. It wouldn’t be easy for anyone else to piece together.

RONAN: Jesus.

DR. BRIGHT: Your secret is safe, Ronan. Matthew is safe.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: Before, you meant you put all your good into him, didn’t you?

RONAN: Before? Wait-- that was two weeks ago.

DR. BRIGHT: I have a good memory.

RONAN: I wasn’t serious.

DR. BRIGHT: But he’s so innocent and kind that you don’t understand how you could give someone that much?

RONAN: I was three. I had enough innocence to go around.

DR. BRIGHT: (Surprised) God. (Recovers) I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to have been that young.

RONAN: Shut up. (Preemptively cutting her off) Don’t say you’re sorry. I was surprised too. I didn’t remember until Declan told me last year. If he wanted me to stop risking my life, he should’ve told me sooner. Bastard.

DR. BRIGHT: That’s quite a responsibility for an eighteen year old. You’re essentially taking care of two people.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: More?

RONAN: She’s the one who wanted out. It’s not my fault.

DR. BRIGHT: She already existed?

RONAN: No, she’s been part of my dreams since I was a child. There’s no way I didn’t make her. She’d help me sometimes. She’d try to bolt the second there was trouble. Can’t blame her.

DR. BRIGHT: When did this happen?

RONAN: Does it matter?

DR. BRIGHT: I’m wondering if without her to keep you company, your dreams have become more difficult to handle.

RONAN: No. I got used to it.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you look after her?

RONAN: She’s a child from dreamland. I leave her alone and suddenly she’s got cardboard shoved up her nose.

DR. BRIGHT: Then you’re her father.

RONAN: I’m not her father. She was a kid when I was a kid. I don’t know what she is but I’m not her father. She’s a family member whose name you can’t find on the family tree. You know she’s gotta be somewhere but damned if you know where.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re not her father, but you do take care of her. I can see how that makes it even more difficult to leave.

RONAN: I want to stay home and not have collectors and hitmen breathing down my back. It’s all I want. Stop trying to change my mind.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m just trying to understand, Ronan. What you decide is up to you. But I hope you’ll understand where they’re coming from. It’s natural for a young adult to explore themselves and the world or go to college. Sometimes they do both.

RONAN: I know. I’m not stupid.

DR. BRIGHT: Your world has changed so much and you’ve only now found stability. You don’t want to lose it.

RONAN: How do you know exactly what I’m thinking when I didn’t know before you said it?

DR. BRIGHT: You do know. You just haven’t learned to recognize it yet.

SOUND: Ronan sighing and one leather wristband snapping against skin.

DR. BRIGHT: Change is part of life, Ronan. Unless you can stop time, you can’t stop it from happening.

RONAN: (Enjoying his own private joke) That’s a pain in the ass. (And the joke’s no longer funny) Look, I get this. I already got it. Life is chaos.

DR. BRIGHT: The feeling of stability doesn’t have to depend on everything staying the same. It can be a reflection of yourself and how you cope with that change.

RONAN: What if they don’t come back? I’m an asshole. You say I’m a good person and I’m not. You got a three day sample of all the crap I do. What if they don’t want to come back and deal with it all again? God, I’d fucking hate them for it but I couldn’t blame them. But I couldn’t tell Gansey not to go and I can’t tell Adam. I want to and I don’t want to. Gansey has no idea what the fuck he wants so I’m more justified in being pissed at him, but Adam’s nearly killed himself to get to college. I want him to have that. He needs to have it.

DR. BRIGHT: But you feel guilty that part of you wants him to stay.

RONAN: It’s not a part it’s the whole engine. What am I going to do? I’ve got Opal but Adam’s helped keep me from killing her. 

DR. BRIGHT: Well, you don’t have to leave home to explore yourself.

RONAN: I want to do it with them.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t have to lose them, Ronan. They don’t think you’re a bad person. You’ve seen what a bad person can do with your abilities. They’ve seen it and they’ve seen you stop him. If you both work at it, they can still be part of your life. I’ve seen you with Adam. The kind of person who barges into my office to make sure you’re safe isn’t the kind of person who’s going to forget about you.

RONAN: I hope you’re right.

SOUND: Church bells.

RONAN: (Laughs a little) I know you are.

SOUND: Default text sent tone.

RONAN: Time’s up.

DR. BRIGHT: I think so. You have enough to think about.

RONAN: I already did. See you next week.

SOUND: Footsteps.

DR. BRIGHT: Bye, Ronan.

SOUND: Door opening.

RONAN: Sorry I kept you waiting.

ADAM: I always come prepared.

RONAN: Oh, I know.

SOUND: Door closing.

DR. BRIGHT: Patient’s session was more than I could have, forgive me, but more than than I could have dreamed of. A toddler and already creating a human being. Truly an extraordinary ability. (Awkward, she’s slipped up) Patient is making great strides these past few sessions. He spoke about his family and came one step closer to recognizing that his father had his own faults and that his brother is not to blame for everything. He is still struggling with his friends moving away. I see now that he needs to do the same, maybe not physically, but he is too emotionally connected to his past. I do understand his motivation to make sure Matthew and Opal are safe. I wonder how he can accomplish that. If I knew more… That is a constant refrain. I don’t know everything, so I’ll have to work with what I do.


	9. Chapter 9

**Voicemail of Adam Parrish, July 22**

DECLAN:: Parrish, unless Ronan is in trouble, don’t bother contacting me. I don’t have time for it. Dating my brother does not give you the right to know everything about my family. If he doesn’t know it, then neither should you.

**Patient #16, Session 9, July 27**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, Class D-8. This will be his tenth session. I had my doubts we would make it past one. I would make plans for this session, but he usually catches me by surprise. I do think it’s past time he told me about his mother. Maybe I can get more out of him.

SOUND: Door opening

RONAN: Hello, I’m doing fine. Great to get the chitchat out of the way.

SOUND: Ronan taking his seat.

DR. BRIGHT: Are you that eager to start?

RONAN: I hate all your formal pleasantry bull.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s called being polite.

RONAN: Exactly.

DR. BRIGHT: Have you ever thought that I might be interested in how your week went?

RONAN: For reasons other than paying you? It’s crossed my mind.

DR. BRIGHT: (Amused) You are not as bad as you pretend to be.

RONAN: Not this again. What do you mean pretend?

DR. BRIGHT: What do you think I mean?

RONAN: Aw Bright, every time I start to like you and then you do shit like this.

DR. BRIGHT: So overnight, you became an aggressive, intimidating person with a shaved head and a tattoo?

RONAN: Who said it was overnight? God damn it, Gansey.

DR. BRIGHT: Call it a guess.

RONAN: It’s a wrong one. It wasn’t overnight. It was a month

DR. BRIGHT: Why the drastic change?

RONAN: I’m not the same. This is me now.

DR. BRIGHT: But why?

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: Have you given any thought to it?

RONAN: I’m not the same. That’s all.

DR. BRIGHT: Could part of it have been a way to keep people at arm’s length?

RONAN: Bright.

DR. BRIGHT: You lost someone close to you and it was because of a stranger’s actions.

RONAN: Just say it. He was killed.

DR. BRIGHT: How did that change you?

RONAN: What the fuck, Bright? What kind of question is that?

DR. BRIGHT: One you’re not answering.

RONAN: Why don’t you call Gansey and ask him.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m asking you.

RONAN: Oh, fuck. This is stupid.

DR. BRIGHT: Indulge me.

RONAN: Fucked up, angry, an all around asshole, are you writing this down?

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan.

RONAN: Why are you asking me this?

DR. BRIGHT: We’ve talked about your relationships a lot lately, but not about how you relate to strangers or acquaintances.

RONAN: I don’t.

DR. BRIGHT: Why is that?

RONAN: Jesus, Bright.

DR. BRIGHT: Is it because you’re convinced you’re a bad person and want to warn them off or do you feel you can’t trust them?

RONAN: Shrinks.

DR. BRIGHT: I know.

RONAN: (Grudgingly) Both.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve noticed that while you might not trust people, you are more understanding of their faults.

RONAN: What, but I’m hard on myself is that it? I’m a hypocrite?

DR. BRIGHT: I never said that.

RONAN: You didn’t have to.

DR. BRIGHT: Do you remember your the worksheets I gave you?

RONAN: Do you know googling CBT can give you some really fucked up results?

DR. BRIGHT: Next time you should try cognitive behavioral therapy instead of the abbreviation.

RONAN: I didn’t google it. That was Adam. (Realizing the implications) ...Ah that’s fucking awkward.

DR. BRIGHT: Did you do remember the exercise in labeling and refuting your irrational thoughts.

RONAN: So I’m not a hypocrite, I’m irrational.

DR. BRIGHT: I didn’t--

RONAN: Nah, that’s fair.

DR. BRIGHT: You are not irrational, Ronan. Your thoughts in this case are.

RONAN: God, what an epiphany. You’ve shown me the light. I shouldn’t give anyone a second chance.

DR. BRIGHT: You know that’s not what I mean.

RONAN: You don’t get what I mean. I don’t understand their faults or whatever. I respect that they are people and most of them have a right to live.

DR. BRIGHT: Who is the exception?

RONAN: My father’s killer-- the man who hired him, anyway. I told you, he’s dead. I got my revenge first. It’s all good.

DR. BRIGHT: The man who hired him? Who killed him?

RONAN: ...Gray. Greenmantle, the psychopath who hired him to kill my dad, sent him to find the artifact that could make dreams. He found me. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to have my hands on his throat and slam his head against the Goddamn wall until it broke.

DR. BRIGHT: You didn’t.

RONAN: Turns out trying to kill a hitman is outside my ability. I hit him, he hit me, no one walked away happy.

DR. BRIGHT: What happened to him?

RONAN: He murdered my dad without a thought and he felt bad about turning me over to be dissected. How fucking generous of him to wait until then to grow a spine. He got the people on my tail away and I gave him one of Kavinsky’s cars so I’d never have to see his face again.

DR. BRIGHT: You let him go?

RONAN: He helped me get Greenmantle and killed some other psycho artifact collector who-- (Pauses, then distantly) Yeah. I let him go.

DR. BRIGHT: Why?

RONAN: I ask myself that a lot.

DR. BRIGHT: You respected his right to live.

RONAN: He deserves to die. My friend’s family liked him and he helped us. That’s the only reason he’s alive.

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t forgive him?

RONAN: I never will. He might have saved me from a specimen jar but he murdered my dad and left him for me to find. We will never be even.

DR. BRIGHT: Why did you help him? You didn’t have to.

RONAN: No one let me kill him so what else was I going to do?

DR. BRIGHT: Did you think it was the right thing to do?

RONAN: The right thing would be locking him up for life. He was useful. (he hesitates) It felt right-- no, it felt like the least wrong option. Do you know Seneca?

DR. BRIGHT: No.

RONAN: Stoic philosopher. He said a sword is never a killer; it is a tool in the killer’s hands.

DR. BRIGHT: Gray was the tool.

RONAN: He wasn’t, but the sentiment applies. The sword wasn’t the real killer. That was the man holding it.

DR. BRIGHT: I must need to read more philosophy. I still don’t understand.

RONAN: How could you? Was your dad murdered?

DR. BRIGHT: There’s a lot about me you don’t know, Ronan. You shouldn’t make assumptions.

RONAN: Come on, Bright.

DR. BRIGHT: If you must know, I have-- lost-- someone.

RONAN: (Awkwardly, the words are unfamiliar) I’m sorry.

DR. BRIGHT: Thank you.

RONAN: Do you think I did the wrong thing with Gray?

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t like to label actions and feelings as right or wrong. Real life isn’t so simple. But I think you did better than most people would have, given your capabilities.

RONAN: You mean I could have used my ability to kill him.

DR. BRIGHT: Among other things, yes. From what you’ve said, I believe that’s possible.

RONAN: It wasn’t.

DR. BRIGHT: Because of your powers or because of you?

RONAN: (Quiet) Me. (Defensive) Don’t get me wrong, if I could have when he first told me, I would have done it in a heartbeat. But I can’t now. I want to but I can’t.

DR. BRIGHT: That’s not a flaw, Ronan. Quite the opposite.

RONAN: Do you know how many times I imagined what I’d do to him if I ever met him? God, I can still see it.

DR. BRIGHT: But that’s not who you are.

RONAN: Disappointing, right?

DR. BRIGHT: You know I don’t agree. ...What about Greenmantle?

RONAN: I’m not noble, Bright. I would have killed him but he was untouchable. Too many strings for him to pull. He could have destroyed everyone I cared about.

DR. BRIGHT: What did you do?

RONAN: (Pleased) I let him know that I could destroy everything he loved too. Scared him shitless.

DR. BRIGHT: Using your ability?

RONAN: I’m not talking about it.

DR. BRIGHT: You didn’t hurt anyone?

RONAN: Not anyone else.

DR. BRIGHT: But you hurt yourself?

RONAN: The night horrors hurt what I hate.

SOUND: Church bells. Ronan lets out a breath. Default text message sent.

RONAN: I better go.

DR. BRIGHT: We have a few minutes, Ronan.

RONAN: No, we don’t.

SOUND: Ronan standing, footsteps

RONAN: I’ll skip the pleasantries now and leave.

DR. BRIGHT: Good b--

SOUND: Door opening, door closing.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen’s session prompted a more emotional reaction than I would have liked. There were times when all I could think about was Mark. If it meant getting him back, I don’t know what I wouldn’t do in Ronan’s place. Whatever he did, I don’t blame him for giving into temptation. It sounds like he was more restrained than I would have been.

I expect the patient to make another appointment. We’ve been through rockier sessions. I’m not sure if I should continue to press him on this. It’s hard to tell when I’m pushing too hard or not enough with him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Voicemail of Adam Parrish, August 3**

GANSEY: Hello, Adam. I’m sorry we keep missing each other’s calls. I understand you don’t want to say much and of course I’d do anything for Ronan, but I would like more to go on. Telling me to be ready for a text to fly back home should come with a more specific date. You’re spending too much time with Ronan if you think that’s a satisfactory request.

(With a meaningful tone lacking all subtlety) You didn’t mention Blue. Is this a matter that would concern her? She wants to help if her talents are needed or her family’s. (Bck to normal) She also wants to come anyway. We’ll let Henry mind the cars unless this also concerns him.

(Sighs) I think we should set a certain time to call--

SOUND: Phone beeping with an incoming call

GANSEY: Finally!

**Voicemail of Ronan Lynch, August 4**

BLUE: Ronan, if you don’t listen to this voicemail, I will make you regret it when I get back. (A breath) Adam keeps calling Gansey. He is being very Adam-y. He said we need to fly back when he snaps his fingers and then nothing else. Are you in trouble? We need to know what’s going on and if you can’t tell the truth, I like your bullshit better than his. Call.

**Voicemail of Blue Sargent, August 4**

RONAN: What the fuck are you talking about?

**Patient #16, Session 10, August 4**

DR. BRIGHT: Patient Sixteen, Class D-8. I’m trying not to get my hopes too high for this session. Ronan still has so much more progress to make, but the more I think about his abilities the more concerned I am. I know he’s at risk of exposure wherever he goes, but Agent Green is visiting again next week. As long as I’m reporting to the AM, Ronan’s secret is at risk. If he were any other patient, I wouldn’t hesitate to give him therapy. He needs it desperately. The more I think of what he can do, however… I’m no longer certain it’s worth the risk. I have to think of a third option. He’s wealthy enough to travel to another therapist for atypicals. I’m going to touch base with my colleagues and see who’s still practicing and who can be trusted.

SILENCE

SOUND: Door opening.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, are you ready? You usually walk right in.

RONAN: (From a distance) Sending a text. Let’s go.

SOUND: Footsteps, door closing, and Ronan and Dr. Bright taking their seats.

DR. BRIGHT: You look concerned. Is something wrong?

RONAN: (Distracted) No, I didn’t see my friend left a voicemail til now. She’s gonna be five tiny feet of consolidated pissed off.

DR. BRIGHT: Not exactly leaving you behind, is she?

RONAN: Not yet. (Pause) I’m stuck with her anyway. Her family babysits Opal.

DR. BRIGHT: Looks like the future isn’t all doom and gloom.

RONAN: (Lightly) Every morning, there’s a huge ball of shit waiting to crest the horizon.

DR. BRIGHT: Interesting choice of words. 

SOUND: Church bells

DR. BRIGHT: Adam’s texting early. Is everything alright?

SOUND: Default text message sent.

RONAN: He’s being a smartass, that’s all.

SOUND: Church bells

SOUND: Default text message sent.

DR. BRIGHT: Are you sure?

RONAN: (Distracted) Yeah. Yeah.

SOUND: Church bells again. Default text message sent.

RONAN: (Scoffs) Adam-y. (Normal) I’ll start. No night horrors, or blood but-- Nah. You wouldn’t get it.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s a good thing I have you here to explain.

RONAN: It was a mask. I had these dreams and the mask hurt people.

DR. BRIGHT: Why did you dream that?

RONAN: Hell if I know. Do you know why you dream all your nightmares?

DR. BRIGHT: I usually have an idea.

RONAN: Usually.

DR. BRIGHT: What did you do with the mask?

RONAN: Ripped it out of Adam’s hands and torched it.

DR. BRIGHT: Was Adam in the dream?

RONAN: You won’t believe any of this.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve heard that before.

RONAN: Demons?

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve learned to believe more than I ever thought I would since I met you, Ronan.

RONAN: You believe in my ability not this.

DR. BRIGHT: Why don’t you tell me and I’ll decide?

RONAN: It wasn’t from my dreams. It was evil. It wanted to unmake everything, starting with Cabeswater and me.

DR. BRIGHT: You’ve mentioned Cabeswater before. What is it?

RONAN: The ley line isn’t just power or magic. It was alive or a piece of it was. When I dreamed, I was manifested it as a forest: Cabeswater.

DR. BRIGHT: What do you mean by manifest?

RONAN: That’s what Cabeswater said. It already existed but had lost its physical form. I gave it one. When I found it, I didn’t know I’d made it. You know those theories about time, that it’s all an illusion or something.

DR. BRIGHT: (Tight) Yes, I’m familiar with them.

RONAN: It’s like that. I made it at some point. It was basically dead when we found it. We had to wake it up with a sacrifice. Adam offered himself. He was Cabeswater’s ambassador to the real world as its eyes and hands. I think the mask was supposed to be the demon. First time I dreamed it, he put it on and attacked me. I had to rip it off and his face came off too. You want to bring out your psychoanalysis for that one?

DR. BRIGHT: If Cabeswater is the mask, I would guess that you were afraid that it wouldn’t give up control of him without harming him.

RONAN: Probably.

DR. BRIGHT: And you felt responsible?

RONAN: Probably.

DR. BRIGHT: What does this have to do with a demon?

RONAN: I think the dream was warning me about the future.

DR. BRIGHT: You believe it was a premonition about the demon?

RONAN: I have no damn clue. The demon-- it was trapped on the leyline. Someone woke it up. It twisted Cabeswater. I dreamed of the mask again. In the dream, I felt it. That’s when I realized something was wrong but I didn’t-- I should have-- (A deep breath) The demon was in the mask. I think that was what the dream was about. I can’t make a demon and I don’t know what the fuck the mask I brought back was, but it had to burn.

DR. BRIGHT: Why did you dream it now?

RONAN: Probably thinking about what could go wrong with my dreams. Or it’s warning me but it’s dead. So it can’t be back, right?

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t see how it could, but I don’t know anything about demons. What happened to it? Did it hurt you or Adam?

RONAN: (Heavy breath, frustrated) Yeah. But it’s not my story to tell.

DR. BRIGHT: I won’t talk about this to anyone else, not even Adam unless you want me to.

RONAN: I don’t.

DR. BRIGHT: (Gently) Ronan, please.

RONAN: (Quietly) It wanted to destroy everything.

SOUND: Couch shifting as Ronan’s breathing turns ragged.

RONAN: God.

DR. BRIGHT: What happened?

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: You don’t have to tell me everything, Ronan. Let’s start with what you’re comfortable with.

SOUND: Ronan’s breathing is still ragged, shallow, and now broken between two gasps.

DR. BRIGHT: What are you thinking?

SOUND: Silence before Ronan clears his throat. The couch shifts again.

RONAN: It tried to kill me. The demon took over Cabeswater, and since Adam made that bargain with Cabeswater, it took control of him. I forgot about it until later, but it was like that dream. It took control of his hands and choked me while Adam tried to free himself. We stopped him, so the demon went into my head. Soul. I don’t know. I don’t fucking know what unmaking is. I just know how it felt.

DR. BRIGHT: Adam choked you?

RONAN: No, it was the demon. He wouldn’t do that.

DR. BRIGHT: Still, that had to have been traumatic?

RONAN: Not really.

DR. BRIGHT: (Skeptical) Really?

RONAN: (Genuine) No. Like I said, I was almost unmade like ten minutes later. And my mom had… No, I don’t care about it. I had a nightmare or two and nothing.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan.

RONAN: I don’t lie. I don’t care about that.

DR. BRIGHT: Alright. Then, maybe you can explain being unmade? What did it feel like?

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan.

RONAN: No, O.K.? No!

DR. BRIGHT: Does this have to do with your mother?

RONAN: Crap. Fucking... (Long string of curses both creative and melodic, if you have an ear for that sort of tune.)

DR. BRIGHT: Are you done?

RONAN: We are not talking about this. I am not bringing back another night horror. It scares the hell out of Opal. Adam’s sick of burying dead bodies. So am I.

DR. BRIGHT: You’ve been through this once before. You’re better prepared. I wouldn’t ask this if I thought you’d bring a night horror back.

RONAN: We covered psychics and ley lines. What about demons?

Dr Bright: Do I believe in them? I’ve learned to believe more than I ever thought I would since I met you, Ronan.

RONAN: It’s not from my dreams. It’s evil. It wanted to unmake everything.

DR. BRIGHT: Whatever you have to say, I’ll listen.

RONAN: Cabeswater was made from dreams. Its energy kept Noah sort of alive so I took my mom there and she woke up. She was awake. I talked to her. She wasn’t completely the same. Dad was still dead or Cabeswater wasn’t powerful enough. But it was her. She was back. She made a home there and she loved it. She missed us when we weren’t there but it was better than sleeping. I thought it was.

DR. BRIGHT: But something happened to her.

RONAN: Yeah, no shit.

DR. BRIGHT: I know this is hard, but please tell me.

DR. BRIGHT: The demon unmade everything. It hated Cabeswater and me for making Cabeswater. I know I bitch about it, but I’m glad I took Opal out of my dreams ‘cause it would have killed her if she stayed.

DR. BRIGHT: It attacked your dreams?

RONAN: Everything! Cabeswater and everything that mattered to me. I didn’t know then. We took Opal to Cabeswater until we thought of what to do with her. Even then it was falling apart and we left her with my mom anyway. Fuck, it wasn’t even my idea to get her back. Adam remembered my own fucking dream when I didn’t. We knew something was off with Cabeswater before. My dreams were all wrong. Why I didn’t go back…

DR. BRIGHT: How could you have known then?

RONAN: I was the Greywaren. Cabeswater gave me Chainsaw. It gave me my the Pig. I made it. And Adam-- he had his own connection. We both knew something was fucked and--

DR. BRIGHT: Do you blame Adam?

RONAN: No! Jesus, you heard me. He remembered. He wanted to go back for Opal. When we got there it was all wrong. It was twisting Cabeswater as it unmade it. The demon wanted us dead. It fucking tried. It would have worked if it weren’t for Adam and what was left of Cabeswater. We took Opal and left.

SOUND: heavy breathing, and one choked sob.

DR. BRIGHT: (Softly) Breathe, Ronan. When you’re ready.

RONAN: (Strangled) I left her there. She was my mom. I left her. I didn’t even think about her. She didn’t cross my mind. I left her. She was unmade and I let her be--

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, take a moment.

RONAN: She couldn’t leave Cabeswater on her own. I brought her there. She’d be alive if I hadn’t brought her. If I hadn’t missed her so much or just fucking thought for two seconds. God, why can’t I stop and think about someone else for two seconds. I would have gone back for her.

DR. BRIGHT: You are not a selfish person, Ronan.

SOUND: Church bells.

RONAN: (Yelling) Stop saying that! Stop telling me I’m good! Stop telling me I’m empathetic and you know me. You don’t. You don’t know anything. She would be here! If she had anyone else for a son, she would be here!

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan…

RONAN: Don’t! Don’t fucking-- don’t. You don’t know what it’s like. The demon tried to unmake me. I felt it. I know what she felt. I know what happened to her. It’s not like K’s fucking death pill. It wasn’t my body. It was _me._ It was unmaking me. I can’t describe it. You can’t know. I was so scared.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan…

RONAN: And she felt that! She felt scared and-- like breaking-- every part of you breaking and it consumes and suffocates you. I wasn’t alone! My friends were there. I had them. If I were unmade I wouldn’t have been alone. She was trapped in Cabeswater because her son abandoned her. She was unmade because I love her. It hated me. It showed me. (Growing quieter as he talks, reality slipping away) God. It showed me everything. Everything I loved--

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, focus on me. Focus on the sound of my voice.

RONAN: I…

DR. BRIGHT: You are here right now. You are in my office, sitting on my couch, talking to me. Focus on my voice. You are here. You’re in therapy. We don’t have to talk about that again, but we need to talk. You need to talk.

SOUND: Door opening.

ADAM: (Yelling) What did you do?

DR. BRIGHT: (Failing to keep her composure) We were talking about his mother.

ADAM: Fuck.

SOUND: Footsteps as Adam rushes to Ronan.

ADAM: Ronan. (He stops, at a loss as well) Shit. _Shit._ (To Dr. Bright) Get out!

DR. BRIGHT: Adam, I can--

ADAM: You haven’t seen him like this before. I have. Get out.

DR. BRIGHT: I’ll be right outside. If anything happens or you need anything, please come get me.

SOUND: Footsteps, door closing.

ADAM: I know you understand me. Gansey isn’t here to run off and snap you out of this. You’re stuck with me. It’s been a long day, I’m too tired to plan a chase for a Welsh King. Don’t make me drag you to the BMW.

SILENCE

ADAM: (Sighs) Ronan. (Whispers) _Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit._

RONAN: (Quietly) Adam.

ADAM: Yeah.

RONAN: You asshole.

SOUND: A very small, very relieved laugh from one Adam Parrish.

ADAM: Let’s go.

SOUND: Two footsteps as Adam gets up and stops.

ADAM: Ronan?

RONAN: (Measured) I am trying very hard not to think right now.

SOUND: Adam sits back down.

ADAM: (Softly but hurried) You come to me for ideas and I’m telling you this is a bad one.

SILENCE

ADAM: Ronan, if you have to trash the whole damn room, I’ll lock the door for you, but you need to get up.

RONAN: I can’t walk.

ADAM: I can’t actually drag you, Ronan.

RONAN: I can’t walk because I am also trying very hard to remember that my feet are attached to my body. (Pause) And that I have a body.

ADAM: Hold my hand.

SOUND: Couch shifting, fabric rustling as they move.

SILENCE

ADAM: Is it working?

RONAN: Got a body.

Ronan takes two deep breaths and chokes.

RONAN: Fuck. (Broken) Fuck. Fuck. (Now crying) I don’t want to do this in front of you.

SOUND: Ronan crying throughout.

ADAM: I was there. (No longer as urgent, he’s collected his thoughts) You’ve seen my dad beat the shit out of me and I’ve seen you die. We’re past giving a shit about crying..

RONAN: I’m getting snot all over your shirt.

ADAM: You’ll wash it for me later.

One laugh breaks up the tears.

ADAM: (Cautiously) It’s not your fault. (Pause) That’s why, right?

RONAN: Don’t lie.

ADAM: You’re not the only one who’s thought about it.

RONAN: We could have saved her. You could have left with Opal--

ADAM: You would have died. You almost drowned with Opal. I barely saved you then. We couldn’t have done it together. There is no way you could have done it on your own. That would have been suicide.

RONAN: She’s my mom, Adam.

SILENCE They both know Adam can’t fully understand.

ADAM: I wouldn’t have let you. You would have died. Matthew and Opal would sleep forever. I never had a mom like her, but even I know she’d rather have died than hurt any of you. That’s all that would have happened. I would have stopped you.

RONAN: (Harsh) Parrish.

ADAM: Be mad at me, the voice of reason, but don’t be mad at yourself.

RONAN: You’re not the one who left her to die!

ADAM: Ronan, if we’re going by your definition, yes. I am exactly the one. You‘re not the only one who feels guilty. You’re not the only one who’s thought about this.

RONAN: God, will you shut up!

ADAM: Now that you’ve listened, yeah.

SOUND: Nothing but Ronan’s heavy breathing. It’s hard, each sharp exhale sharp with anger, but it doesn’t take long to lapse back into tears.

RONAN: The worst thing about being unmade is knowing how she felt.

ADAM: (takes a breath, shaky from his own memory) You’re a dreamer. You weren’t easy for it to kill. I don’t think it was as bad for her.

RONAN: You saw her.

ADAM: I did.

RONAN: She wouldn’t come back together.

ADAM: Stop.

RONAN: I tried to put her back--

ADAM: I know. I know! It-- it wasn’t possible, Ronan. She wasn’t your dream.

RONAN: She was my mom.

SOUND: Nothing but Adam breathing and Ronan crying. After a time, Ronan’s sobs fade into periodic hitches of breath.

RONAN: I shouldn’t have brought her to Cabeswater.

ADAM: We didn’t know what would happen. I thought it was clever.

RONAN: You?

ADAM: I only thought you were an idiot half the time, then. We’re down to a quarter now.

RONAN: Dick.

SOUND: Ronan’s breathing begins to calm before speeding up again. Adam lets him ride it out.

RONAN: (Calmer) You really would have stopped me from finding my mom?

ADAM: You know me.

SOUND: A few more deep breaths and then shifting as Ronan pulls back and Adam sits up.

RONAN: (Exhausted) Oh, God.

ADAM: Wait here. I’ll try to find some more tissues.

SOUND: Adam’s footsteps coming closer. He pauses. The desk creaks. There’s another pause and wood sliding. Adam takes a breath, louder than usual, because the recorder is no longer hidden. There’s a shuffling sound as Adam takes the recorder and hides it in his pocket, too worried of drawing notice-- or too panicked-- to stop the recording

ADAM: (Strained) Guess that was it. Can we go home now?

RONAN: Yeah.

SOUND: Couch shifting and more footsteps as Adam helps Ronan stand.

RONAN: I-- thanks. I’ll find a better way to ruin your shirt next time.

ADAM: (Nervous laugh) Don’t ruin my shirts, Ronan. Let’s--

SOUND: A knock on the door.

RONAN: I’m good. Session over.

SOUND: Door opening.

DR. BRIGHT: (Relieved and apologetic) Ronan, I am so sorry.

RONAN: It’s-- whatever. I didn’t warn you it was that fucked up.

DR. BRIGHT: You shouldn’t have to.

ADAM: No, he shouldn’t.

RONAN: Adam--

ADAM: Ronan, please. My shirt.

RONAN: (Even more drained) Crap. Right. Let’s-- (Deep breath) I’ll… call you or something, Bright.

DR. BRIGHT: Please let me know if there’s anything I can do or you need to talk. I’ll make room in my schedule.

SOUND: Footsteps.

ADAM: We appreciate it, Dr. Bryant.

SOUND: Door closing. Adam and Ronan walk out in silence. The door closes behind them. Then they’re outside. Compared to Dr. Bright’s quiet office, the streets are loud, but everything is silent once more once the car doors open and close, save for Ronan’s shuddering breaths. There’s the sound of Adam shifting in his seat so he can reach in his pocket and turn off the recorder.


	11. Chapter 11

**Recording on Ronan Lynch’s Phone, August 4**

ADAM: Feeling better?

RONAN: Just tired. Nice shirt.

ADAM: Did you want me to borrow one of your Aglionby shirts instead?

RONAN: That’s not funny. …I like this one. Dad got it for me in New York.

ADAM: I can take it off.

RONAN: Nah. I like it. (Pause) Where’s Opal?

ADAM: I left her in Matthew’s room. I showed her a game on your phone.

RONAN: There’s a game on my phone?

ADAM: There is now.

RONAN: Great.

ADAM: (Carefully) Ronan.

RONAN: I’m fine.

ADAM: I--

SOUND: Phone ringing

ADAM: Crap. (Pause) Gansey?

RONAN: Gansey?

ADAM: (Into the phone) Yeah, that’s him. Where are you?

RONAN: Can you talk to me?

ADAM: When’s the next connection?

RONAN: Connection?

ADAM: Ronan, please. I’ll explain in a second.

RONAN: A second?!

ADAM: Yes-- no, Gansey. I’ll tell him.

RONAN: What is going on?

ADAM: Get here as soon as you can. Bribe Helen or... alright fine... Yes, it is that bad.

RONAN: Adam, what the fuck?

ADAM: Ronan--

RONAN: That’s it. I’m--

SOUND: Footsteps, door opening

OPAL: Why are you fighting?

RONAN: I’m finding out. Give me the phone.

ADAM: Wait-- Gansey, I’ll call you b--

**Phone of Blue Sargent, August 4**

RONAN: What the fuck is going on, Sargent?

BLUE: Adam told us to come back. Our flight got delayed and we’re stuck in Dallas.

RONAN: Why?

BLUE: I don’t know. Gansey said he found out something about your therapist, but he hadn’t confirmed anything.

SILENCE

ADAM: Ronan--

RONAN: Thanks, Blue. Nice to know someone can be honest with me.

**Phone of Gansey, August 4**

GANSEY: Adam, let me talk to--

RONAN: I can’t believe you.

SOUND: phone clattering onto a desk.

ADAM: I didn’t want to tell you anything until I was sure.

RONAN: Sure about what? What did you find out about Dr. Bright?

ADAM: Dr. Bryant. She used to work for an organization called The AM. They work with “atypicals.” They keep track of them in case they pose a threat. They claim to help, but all they want to do is study them. People have gone missing and it all leads back to them.

RONAN: What do they do?

ADAM: Experiment on them.

GANSEY: Adam?

BLUE: Shh.

RONAN: But she’s not with them anymore.

ADAM: She still reports to them.

RONAN: You think she’ll turn me in?

ADAM: I think she might not have a choice. She knows what you can do. If the AM finds out--

RONAN: They’ve gotta know already. My dad sold his dreams. Kavinsky was on a power trip.

ADAM: No one knew how your father got his artifacts. I don’t know about Kavinsky. Maybe no one realized. If they knew, they’d’ve taken you. They take anyone with unusual abilities.

RONAN: We’ve got a house full of psychics here.

ADAM: From what I’ve read, that’s common.

BLUE: Thanks.

RONAN: I’m still here. Dr. Bright hasn’t told them. She won’t sell me out.

ADAM: She’s been recording your sessions.

RONAN: No. No, no-- she hasn’t--

ADAM: I found this.

SOUND: Objects crashing onto the floor.

OPAL: Kerah!

RONAN: Go to Matthew’s room.

OPAL: (Speaking in a strange language)

RONAN: I need to talk to Adam alone. I’ll check on you later. Play with Chainsaw or-- something.

ADAM: Please.

OPAL: (Speaks in the same strange language)

SOUND: Door closes.

ADAM: I didn’t know until I found it.

RONAN: But you knew what she was doing.

ADAM: Gansey had already run a background check. I thought maybe I was being paranoid.

RONAN: You called them back because you thought you were being paranoid? Bullshit, Adam.

ADAM: When I confirmed everything, I texted you. You were already with her.

RONAN: You told Gansey before me. You told him to be ready to leave. You knew.

ADAM: I didn’t want to be right! You were getting better.

RONAN: Better? Adam, I told her everything. She knows everything! Oh my God. Oh, fuck.

ADAM: I thought if I was wrong, it would make things worse.

RONAN: Yeah, and they’re not now?

ADAM: I’m sorry! O.K., I’m sorry!

RONAN: Fuck. Fuck.

GANSEY: ADAM! RONAN!

HENRY: I don’t think they’re listening.

RONAN: Who else knows?

ADAM: Blue and Henry are coming back with him, so he must have told them.

RONAN: Henry. Seriously?

ADAM: His family has more connections.

RONAN: His family knows?!

ADAM: No! God, no one other than us knows what you can do. It was only to get more information.

RONAN: From who?

ADAM: Helen pointed me in the right direction. She called in a few favors. Declan wouldn’t tell me--

RONAN: (Furious) You talked to my brother behind my back?

ADAM: To keep you safe!

RONAN: Safe? She was recording us the whole time!

ADAM: I just wanted you to be happy! I didn’t want to leave you when you were--

RONAN: What? You didn’t want a night horror to claw me to death because you left for college?

ADAM: Yes! I’m worried about you. I know you can take care of other people, but you can’t take care of yourself. But you were learning how. I couldn’t take that from you unless I was certain. (Pause) Ronan, wait--

SOUND: Door slamming.

ADAM: Ronan!

SOUND: Door opening, followed by silence.

BLUE: I don’t think they’re coming back.

HENRY: That was not what I expected.

GANSEY: Jesus.

**Voicemail of Ronan Lynch, August 5**

DR. BRIGHT: Hello, Ronan. It’s Dr. Bright. I am so sorry about last session. You don’t have to call me now but there are things I need to explain to you. I promised I would keep you safe and you are. Please trust me.

**Audio Note on Patient #16, August 8**

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve only recorded these before and after a session but thinking out loud might help where physical notes have failed. I’ve yet to hear from Patient Sixteen. Patient-- never mind, I’ll erase this anyway. Ronan hasn’t returned my call. I want to attempt contact again but I’m afraid of pushing him further away. Ronan has a habit of not scheduling sessions right away but one of them took my recorder.

I should have expected this. I knew from the start how paranoid Ronan is and saw how Adam hovered over him. Ronan never told me what exactly happened with his father’s former clients. Of course you don’t hide from those people by luck. (Resigned again) I should have told him. At least I should have assured his boyfriend that I was not going to hurt him.

(Ever the problem solver, she switches back into damage control mode) I have to fix this. He doesn’t have to trust me enough for another session. All I have to do is convince him to take a referral. They’re all less experienced, actually they have no scientific knowledge of atypicals whatsoever, but they have no connections to the AM. He’s learned to control his powers before. He doesn’t need me to teach him again. I wish--

SOUND: Door opening

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan!

RONAN: Shut it off.

Recorder clicks off.

**Recording on Ronan Lynch’s Phone, August 8**

SOUND: Door opening

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan!

RONAN: Shut it off.

DR. BRIGHT: Of course. It’s off. You can take it.

RONAN: You lied.

DR. BRIGHT: I didn’t.

RONAN: Then explain.

DR. BRIGHT: It will be easier if I know what you kn--

RONAN: No. You are explaining right the fuck now. No excuses. No bullshit. All cards on the table.

DR. BRIGHT: (Hesitates, but there’s no escaping this) I worked for an agency called The Atypical Monitors. I worked with an atypical before, in my studies. It caught their attention. I wanted to help atypicals understand and control their abilities. I thought we shared the same goals.

RONAN: No.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s the truth.

RONAN: No, you wanted to study them.

DR. BRIGHT: Yes, but not in any way that would hurt them. Learning more about atypical abilities wouldn’t only further scientific knowledge, it would help you. If helping atypicals had remained our focus, we could have done so much more.

RONAN: It didn’t remain the focus. It never was.

DR. BRIGHT: I didn’t know that. If I had any idea what the were experimenting on people--

RONAN: God, Bright-- Bryant-- whoever the fuck you are. Don’t lie.

DR. BRIGHT: Experimenting on people without informed consent and far beyond anything the IRB would ever approve. No, I wouldn’t have joined them, Ronan. When I learned what they were doing, I left.

RONAN: When you learned about your brother.

DR. BRIGHT: (Shocked) What?

RONAN: He disappeared. Several months later, you left.

DR. BRIGHT: How did--

RONAN: He was an atypical.

DR. BRIGHT: Yes. He’s why I first became interested. I-- (Upset) I wanted to help him.

RONAN: What happened to him?

DR. BRIGHT: When I found him, they had locked him away. They were experimenting on him. I tried to get him out but they took me away before I could say anything. When I left, their condition was that I give them reports on my patients, refer them if needed, and in return they would release Mark. I didn’t report you, Ronan.

RONAN: I’ll find out. Now. The rest of it.

DR. BRIGHT: Something went wrong with one of their experiments. Mark fell into a coma. They claim it’s not safe for him to leave. I am trying to convince them he needs to be with me.

RONAN: They’ll never let him out. I thought you were smarter.

DR. BRIGHT: I have to try, Ronan. He’s my brother.

SILENCE

RONAN: You report your patients.

DR. BRIGHT: Only general information. Their classification, power, and the level of danger they might pose.

RONAN: And if they’re dangerous?

DR. BRIGHT: I have never sent anyone to The AM. Sometimes, they will send me one of their patients, the ones they haven’t experimented on, to continue their therapy as an outpatient. That is all. I have never referred anyone yet and I don’t intend to.

RONAN: What’s my classification?

DR. BRIGHT: That’s-- difficult to say, Ronan. I have never met anyone with your abilities. I don’t think even The AM has. It doesn’t fit neatly into any of our classes. At first, I thought you were class A: psychic abilities. Your mind--

RONAN: I know what psychic means. What’s the final verdict?

Dr. Bright; Class D-8.

RONAN: Now in English.

DR. BRIGHT: Class D atypicals have abilities that influence space and time. My theory is that when you dream, you move into another dimension. Perhaps a dimension that is extremely malleable to thought. Your mind interprets it through your own experience and subconscious and shapes it. When you wake, you can bring back some matter and energy into this world but in the form your mind made it to be.

RONAN: Wrong but a nice try. Eight?

DR. BRIGHT: The numbers indicate the power of an ability and an atypical’s control of it. One is for typicals like me. No ability. Ten is an extremely powerful ability over which the atypical has no control. My goal is for all my patients to be in the four to six range.

RONAN: (Flat) Eight.

DR. BRIGHT: I hoped that in a session or two, you would be at seven or even six.

RONAN: When I came to you, I had no problems with my power.

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t believe you would have maintained that forever without addressing your trauma. Your control is extremely dependent on your emotional state. I made mistakes during our sessions, Ronan. I won’t excuse them. But you do need help. I have a list of resources for you, people I know, who can help you. They have no connections to The AM.

RONAN: They have at least one. You.

DR. BRIGHT: I know what I did was wrong. I should have told you about The AM. You’ve avoided not only their detection but attempts by others to use you. I was confident that you would be safe for now. If that changed, I would have told you. I would never tell them about you. My other patients have remarkable abilities, but most of them are common. I have understated one or two’s abilities to prevent The AM from taking interest. I never planned on reporting you. If they learn I have a new patient, I have notes on an entirely fictitious patient to give them.

RONAN: Fuck, it really is that bad. Christ. Adam was right.

DR. BRIGHT: I have kept you safe, Ronan.

RONAN: You exposed me to them. They had no idea about Kavinsky and he had a dream drug industry. They didn’t know about Dad and he had clients lining up for magical artifacts. (To himself) Was it the ley line?

DR. BRIGHT: They don’t know about you.

RONAN: (Still to himself, sounding more like Adam) Or are they biding their time?

DR. BRIGHT: I will tell you the truth. If they had any idea of your abilities, you would be in their lab right now. You wouldn’t be classified as A or D, your class would be E: high risk. If any government agency happened to look into it, they would use it as an excuse to keep you there. Yes, they would do terrible things. They would make you do terrible things. That is why, even if I didn’t care about you, I would never, ever let them take you.

RONAN: You let them take your brother.

DR. BRIGHT: (Stricken) No, that was before--

RONAN: You didn’t want them to. I get that. You’re not… You are one fucked up liar, but you wouldn’t do that to your brother. They took him anyway. If you couldn’t protect him, how the hell could you protect me? No bullshit, Bright. Tell me.

DR. BRIGHT: I didn’t know then what I know now. I have gone over everything I did wrong and how I could have stopped it. I’ve learned from my mistakes.

RONAN: No bullshit! You couldn’t have stopped it. They knew about you and from you, they knew about him. Once that happened it was over. How the hell could you warn me in time? You told me that once they had any idea, they’d lock me up, and throw me in a medieval torture chamber you want to pretend is science. And if they want a dreamer, they’d want to see the dreams. You put my brother at risk too, Bright. You could get my whole family tortured for a fucking science project that you’d never understand shit about. I trusted you.

DR. BRIGHT: (Hurt and worse than that, guilty) I’m sorry, Ronan. I never meant to betray your--

RONAN: You recorded me! Fuck, you did from the beginning, didn’t you? Do you do it to everyone?

DR. BRIGHT: It’s my way of taking notes. If I miss something in therapy or something goes wrong, I can listen again, and correct it.

RONAN: Well, I got to come clean, Bright.

SOUND: Fabric rustling as Ronan reaches into his pocket.

RONAN: I’m not using this for notes.

SILENCE

RONAN: Give them to me. Give me everything. All your recordings, all your papers, every note, every Goddamn thing you have on me.

DR. BRIGHT: (Quiet) Alright.

SOUND: Footsteps. Papers rustling, some falling to the floor, wood and metal drawers sliding open. Finally, the whir of a computer coming to life.

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t have anything on you on my computer. There are some personal things--

RONAN: Don’t. Take a seat. I’ll look over your shoulder.

SOUND: Computer mouse clicking and clicking and clicking. After one click of a button, the computer’s sound fades. Then it’s back to the paper, drawers, and the clatter of some recordings and a recorder pressed together.

DR. BRIGHT: I told you.

RONAN: I expected more.

DR. BRIGHT: Believe it or not, therapists don’t fill books with notes.

RONAN: Researchers do.

SOUND: Ronan shoving everything into a bag.

DR. BRIGHT: Please take one more thing.

RONAN: You give me a worksheet, I’m using it as fertilizer.

DR. BRIGHT: It’s a list of therapists. Adam can look into every one of them. Please take it.

RONAN: You blew your second chance so hard its dick fell off. Goodbye, Dr. Bright. Bryant. Whatever. Remember, I’ve got this.

SOUND: Phone sliding back into his pocket.

DR. BRIGHT: Take care of yourself, Ronan.

RONAN: Better than you did.

SOUND: Door closing. Footsteps. Another door opening and then he’s out onto the street. The city’s alive. Cars pass, covering the background noise. The footsteps change as they’re on pavement. A door opens again, this one a car. The seat shifts beneath Ronan. The car door slams shut. Papers and tapes smash together as the bag hits the other seat.

SILENCE

SOUND: The car door slams shut again and again and again. After that, there’s a dull but loud thunk from the steering wheel. Someone breathes deeply for ten seconds and exhales for another ten.

RONAN: Fuck.

SOUND: Engine starts.

RONAN: Oh. (He laughs bitterly) Right.

SOUND: Ronan takes out the phone. His finger taps the screen.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Recorder of a Dreamer, August 11**

ADAM: Looks like it’s working.

RONAN: Check.

(Tape stops then abruptly resumes mid-sentence)

ADAM: How long do you want this to go?

RONAN: It took her an hour to talk to me then do an autopsy report on the session.

ADAM: That’s another problem.

RONAN: I can do it. I listened to all of them. I know her. (Faltering on the last word)

ADAM: I know I should have told you. ...I’m sorry.

RONAN: Yeah, well what was I expecting. Someone who wasn’t working for an evil organization?

ADAM: It’s usually a safe assumption.

RONAN: For normal people.

SILENCE

RONAN: (Sighs) Adam?

ADAM: Yeah?

RONAN: Don’t-- ah, forget it.

ADAM: Ronan--

RONAN: Shit.

ADAM: Just tell me--

RONAN: I said forget it. Look at this piece of dream shit. The size is off.

ADAM: I can’t tell.

RONAN: I can.

ADAM: Will she?

RONAN: (Exasperated sigh) I don’t know about this, Adam.

ADAM: It’s not really a lie. It’s stretching the truth, not--

RONAN: Yes, it is.

ADAM: (Sighs) I won’t make you do it.

RONAN: Do you make me do anything?

ADAM: I haven’t reached that Gansey-level of commanding yet.

RONAN: (Laughs, pauses, then calls) Hey, Sargent!

SOUND: Boots trudging through grass then stopping.

BLUE: Do you dream-boys wants pizza here or back at the house.

RONAN: You brought pizza? Are we back at Nino’s?

BLUE: Don’t push it, freak.

RONAN: You’re the fun-house mirror.

ADAM: (Quickly) Let’s go back.

RONAN: Will you make up, already? You’re throwing off my dream-vibes with this shit.

BLUE: I’m not the one with the problem.

ADAM: I told you, you could come if you wanted.

BLUE: You asked Henry instead of me.

RONAN: Yeah, I’m with her on that one.

ADAM: Did you need an official invitation? You would’ve come if I’d said no.

BLUE: Well, it would’ve been--

RONAN: Jesus, guys! I changed my mind. Don’t make up in front of me. God, you two are a disaster.

ADAM: Can we eat the pizza already?

RONAN: One sec.

SOUND: Plastic being pried open.

RONAN: I fucking knew it. How did I forget about batteries! Fuck!

**The Recorder of a Dreamer, August 11 and August 12**

RONAN: Work. _Amabo te._ Just work!

SOUND: The ambience of a forest twists and distorts to static then nothing, static, and then slow, even breathing. The background sounds are of the Barns-- insects in the distance, different than the strange sounds in the dream. A few seconds later, the recorder slides onto the floor. The breathing becomes more deliberate. Ronan sighs. His skin slides over a wood floor as he pushes himself up.

GANSEY: I’ve never seen you do it before.

RONAN: (Groggy) What’d you think?

GANSEY: Ask me in the morning. I need time to process.

RONAN: Can’t sleep?

GANSEY: No, but you can.

RONAN: Nah, I need a break.

SOUND: Floor creaks as Gansey sits down.

GANSEY: Just like old times.

RONAN: It’s weird without the Henrietta model. What’d you do with it?

GANSEY: It’s in boxes. Do you want it?

RONAN: What would I do with it?

GANSEY: I prefer not to question what games you’ve played with my miniatures.

SOUND: Laughter.

GANSEY: You could keep it here for the next time I visit.

RONAN: I could. How’d you know I was here?

GANSEY: You left the light on.

RONAN: How could I forget to turn my dream fireflies off?

GANSEY: I thought you’d be with Adam.

RONAN: He needs his beauty sleep. He works tomorrow.

GANSEY: Ah, right.

SILENCE

GANSEY: Have Blue and Adam--

RONAN: Nope.

GANSEY: You didn’t let me finish.

RONAN: Have they stopped fighting? No. The answer is no.

GANSEY: (Exasperated) They were friends when we left.

RONAN: They are. They also sometimes hate each other.

GANSEY: I remember when that was you and Adam. (Pause) How is that you’re the one who isn’t jealous?

RONAN: That surprises you? Thanks for the vote of confidence. Real fucking nice.

GANSEY: I assume that’s why you hated Blue.

RONAN: One reason. She grew on me like a parasite. The rest doesn’t matter, so I don’t think about it.

GANSEY: Wouldn’t it be grow in you?

RONAN: Gansey, you say another word, I’m kicking your ass out of my barn.

GANSEY: How do you do get over things like that?

RONAN: This is a shitty insomnia philosophy talk, Gansey. I’ll break it down for you. Blue’s cool. Adam’s cool. Together, hell freezes over. Separate…

GANSEY: I don’t only mean that.

RONAN: Oh, that’s what this is. Shit, I did not expect that one.That’s not remotely the same. Not in the same ballpark, not even the same sport.

GANSEY: Ronan.

RONAN: I did not “get over” Gray. I accepted that killing him wasn’t gonna do shit and we needed him. If it were up to me, I’d grab a tire iron.

GANSEY: (Pause) I was thinking more of Kavinsky but I suppose that applies too.

SILENCE

RONAN: I told Adam. I’m not changing my mind.

SILENCE

RONAN: I’m not.

GANSEY: I’m not here to convince you one way or the other. I’d like to know if--

RONAN: Gansey, I’m not gonna break. Cut the crap and be straight with me.

GANSEY: Can you get over this?

RONAN: Scratch that. Now I see what this is about.

GANSEY: You wanted an honest conversation.

RONAN: I don’t know. Spilling all your secrets to an undercover agent who records it all is a big fucking deal.

GANSEY: I’m--

RONAN: Oh, don’t.

GANSEY: Will you let me talk? Thank you. I shouldn’t have sent you to her. I chose her, failed at checking her background, and pressured you into going when you didn’t want to. I also convinced Adam that it was a good idea. But you were right. While I’m sure there are capable therapists out there, my decision has made everything worse. I’m sorry.

RONAN: You done?

GANSEY: Did you listen to any of that?

RONAN: Yeah. You’re sorry. You were wrong. I was right. It’s in the past. Get over it.

GANSEY: It’s very much affecting our present, Ronan.

RONAN: Gansey, for-- (Deep breath to calm down) It wasn’t a horrible idea. I learned a few things. We’ll finish this, it’ll be over, and you can go back to Nicaragua or wherever with Blue and Henry.

GANSEY: Do you mean… You mean it actually helped?

RONAN: It’s a huge fucking reminder not to trust anyone but you three. But yeah. It helped a little.

GANSEY: Adam told me about the night horror.

RONAN: Never said it helped everything. It got worse, then it got better. I couldn’t dream all this shit if I weren’t in control again.

GANSEY: You’ll be fine on your own, won’t you?

RONAN: (Dry) If I get lonely, I’ll go find the nearest government agent to reveal my powers to. You’ll be here in ten. (Frustrated) Jesus, Gansey. Of course I’ll be fine. I’m not a piece of your Henrietta model. I can walk on my own and I’m not gonna break if I get knocked over.

GANSEY: You sound more like the old you.

RONAN: I thought you got this. You are never getting that me back.

GANSEY: I didn’t mean that. I mean you’re not as…

RONAN: As what?

GANSEY: I’m not sure. Angry? Irresponsible, irreverent, uninhibited, violently aggressive.

RONAN: Are you gonna keep going with your mental list of why Ronan’s a shithead?

GANSEY: I said less.

RONAN: You know that is way fucking relative with me.

GANSEY: It’s good. I don’t want the old you back anyway, Ronan. We’ve all changed after Cabeswater. Now you’re (Finds the word) happier.

RONAN: Call no man happy--

GANSEY: Unless he is dead. Forget Herodotus. Your stoicism quotes are my favorites.

RONAN: _Nam qui peccare se nescit, corrigi non vult._

GANSEY: If you don’t know your mistakes, you won’t correct them.

RONAN: Roughly.

SILENCE

GANSEY: I’ll ship you the miniature Henrietta.

RONAN: You’re setting it up.

GANSEY: You’re helping.

RONAN: Deal.

SOUND: Hands slide back against the wood and a clatter as it hits the recorder, sending it spinning.

RONAN: Oh shit, that’s right.

SOUND: As Ronan picks the recorder up.

RONAN: Damn it. Not again. It’s recording without--

SOUND: Plastic being pried open.

RONAN: It has batteries.

GANSEY: What do we do next?


	13. Chapter 13

**ID 46942 - Asset #43**

AGENT GREEN: You don’t mind that I’m recording, do you?

DR. BRIGHT: Do I have a choice?

AGENT GREEN: Joan, please--

DR. BRIGHT: Go ahead, Agent Green. Let’s get this over with.

AGENT GREEN: Joan-- Dr. Bright, there’s no need to make this difficult. We will be having these meetings for some time. I, for one, enjoy our time together.

DR. BRIGHT: I’m sure you do.

AGENT GREEN: (Takes a breath) Very well. (Into the recorder) This is Agent Green on behalf of The AM, ID number 46942, speaking with Dr. Bright, Asset 43. I believe you have-- ah, yes, one new patient.

DR. BRIGHT: Yes.

AGENT GREEN: And the patient was referred to you from us. Ah! Patient Fifteen, Class A. The telekinetic from our two week program, I believe?

DR. BRIGHT: Yes.

AGENT GREEN: (After a pause) Aaand how are they--

SOUND: Door opening

AGENT GREEN: I’m sorry, we’re--

DR. BRIGHT: R-- Robert. I am having a meeting with--

RONAN: Yeah, I know.

DR. BRIGHT: I-- see you two have come together.

SOUND: Door closing.

ADAM: Yes, that’s right.

AGENT GREEN: I’m sorry, but we are rather occupied at the moment. Dr. Bright, if you would--

DR. BRIGHT: If you would like to speak with me in an hour-- what are--

SOUND: A brief scuffle

AGENT GREEN: Get off! This is unacceptable. I am a--

SOUND: Agent Green protests throughout, his words largely inaudible and ignored. An object, in this case a body, is slammed back down onto a chair.

DR. BRIGHT: (Panicking) What are you doing?

RONAN: Adam, will you?

DR. BRIGHT: Please, I will take care of this if--

ADAM: Done. Have you always been able to restrain someone that fast?

RONAN: Probably.

ADAM: Do you think this information would have been helpful before?

RONAN: That was different

DR. BRIGHT: Stop! Please listen to me.

AGENT GREEN: (Now more audible) Yes, please. Do listen to Dr. Bright.

DR. BRIGHT: Shut up!

RONAN: Sit down. Don’t make me tie you up too.

SOUND: Footsteps, papers shuffling.

AGENT GREEN: That’s mine!

DR. BRIGHT: What have you done?

RONAN: _Inter arma enim silent leges._

AGENT GREEN: (Seeing how the wind is blowing, he switches to his professional, excessively warm voice) Ah, a scholar. I also have an interest in--

RONAN: (Unimpressed) Do you know what that means?

AGENT GREEN: Well, it has been a while since college. But I received excellent grades in--

RONAN: In the face of arms, the law falls silent. Got it?

AGENT GREEN: Perfectly.

SOUND: Pages flipping.

DR. BRIGHT: That has private information on my patients. If you--

ADAM: (To Ronan) You’re not here.

RONAN: Told you.

DR. BRIGHT: (Beyond upset) I can’t believe after everything you told me that you would do this!

SOUND: A body being set down onto a chair.

RONAN: Bright, you’ll have to trust me this time.

ADAM: Ronan, we can’t risk it.

DR. BRIGHT: Damn it! I haven’t said-- Ronan! You-- you don’t have to tie me. Damn it, Ronan. You are better than this.

RONAN: I’m not.

SOUND: Footsteps as Adam checks the desk and slides the drawer open.

DR. BRIGHT: What is that?

RONAN: It’s safe.

AGENT GREEN: Is that-- the flashy thing? From the Men in Black movies.

SOUND: Adam, in the middle of stacking some tapes into a cabinet, stops.

RONAN: For fuck’s sake. Listen Agent Shits Green, I have pulled a lot of things out of my fucking head in the last week. Shut the fuck up about one lapse in creative--

AGENT GREEN: No, it’s a good replica. Quite remarkable. Are those engravings an addition?

RONAN: Yeah. Did you pay that much attention to--

ADAM: (Simultaneously) Ronan.  
DR. BRIGHT: (Simultaneously) Ronan!

RONAN: Calm down. It’s exactly what it looks like. He won’t remember a thing.

AGENT GREEN: Excuse me, what?

DR. BRIGHT: You dreamed something that can erase memories?

RONAN: It took for-fucking-ever.

DR. BRIGHT: You can’t use that! Green--

RONAN: It doesn’t get rid of everything. Just me, Adam, and Gansey.

AGENT GREEN: I’m sorry. What is--

DR. BRIGHT: How do you know? How can you know it works? That it’s safe?

ADAM: Animal testing and conditioning. After repeated exposure to what you call a positive stimulus and we call an apple, we tested to see if they remembered us after the memory-eraser was used.

DR. BRIGHT: You tested it on animals?!

RONAN: We didn’t hurt them. Anyway, you’re one to talk.

DR. BRIGHT: You have no idea how this will work on a person. Believe me, I am the last person to defend Agent Green--

AGENT GREEN: That’s comforting.

DR. BRIGHT: But this could permanently damage his mind. Or it could erase all of his memories. That would not solve your problem, Ronan. You cannot use--

RONAN: Hey! I haven’t only used it on animals.

DR. BRIGHT: Oh my God.

AGENT GREEN: That is mildly reassuring.

RONAN: I used it on him.

DR. BRIGHT: (Simultaneously) What?!  
AGENT GREEN: (Simultaneously) What?!

RONAN: Outside, about ten minutes ago. Did you lose any time?

AGENT GREEN: That can’t be… I suppose I felt disoriented for a moment but that couldn’t possibly--

RONAN: Good. Shut up.

DR. BRIGHT: I don’t understand. You wouldn’t have to use this on him if you had waited until after-- oh. Ronan. No.

RONAN: (Dejected) It’s the only way.

DR. BRIGHT: No, it’s not. Ronan, please.

ADAM: You haven’t exactly proven yourself trustworthy, Dr. Bryant.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, this isn’t right. ...Ronan!

AGENT GREEN: Ah, Ronan. If I might talk to you before you (Not forcing but shoving the pleasantness into his voice) wipe my mind again. I believe you are one of Dr. Bright’s new patients? Her opinion of my organization may be biased--

SOUND: Ronan snorts.

AGENT GREEN: But I promise you that The AM is only concerned for your welfare.

DR. BRIGHT: (Groans) Oh, God.

AGENT GREEN: You are clearly a resourceful young man. We could always use someone with your talents. Are you continuing your education? The AM--

ADAM: Will you use the damn thing?

RONAN: No, this is funny.

DR. BRIGHT: _Ronan!_

AGENT GREEN: Free health care! Perhaps that is a concern of yours. I know that young people may not think they will need it, but--

DR. BRIGHT: You are not helping.

AGENT GREEN: (Yells to quiet her) Please! (Laughs again almost hysterically as he tries to sweet talk Ronan again) Please, Ronan. I’m sure we can work something--

SOUND: A faint click.

DR. BRIGHT: Owen!

RONAN: It takes a minute.

DR. BRIGHT: (Gasping) I know you don’t want to do this. You are abusing your power. We talked about how much you hated K--

RONAN: Don’t say it. Sensitive subject with him.

ADAM: This one’s on me, Bryant. Is there anything else you want to come clean about?

DR. BRIGHT: I’ve told you everything. I am not lying to you. Please, Ronan.

ADAM: Yes or no. Do you have anything else on Ronan?

DR. BRIGHT: (Almost in tears) I gave you everything. Please, Ronan. I don’t want to forget you. I can help you. If you’ll…

AGENT GREEN: What-- what’s going--

SOUND: Another faint click.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan. You have come so far. I know this has been a huge breach of trust, but I only want what’s best for you. This is not it. You know it’s not. You came to me because you want help and you kept coming back, in spite of everything. If you do this, I can’t help you.

ADAM: Help him by telling us now. Is there anything that could connect Ronan to you, this office, or The AM?

DR. BRIGHT: (Now crying) No! Ronan, look at me. I would never hurt--

RONAN: (Quietly, Bright has been pushing all the right buttons) Stop.

SOUND: Footsteps.

ADAM: (Softly) Ronan.

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan. I am right here. If you would look at me. I promise. I will never tell anyone--

ADAM: You work with many patients. I’ve seen your notes on mind-readers.

DR. BRIGHT: You-- you broke into my office?

RONAN: One last answer for your atypical research, Bright. If I’m making a copy of something, I need to know it. Sight, touch, sound. All of it.

ADAM: And I had to make sure you weren’t hiding anything else and that our story would check out.

DR. BRIGHT: What copies?

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan. What copies?

RONAN: (Listless) Your recordings. You have a new patient.

DR. BRIGHT: You’re replacing your information?

RONAN: You had the idea in the first place.

AGENT GREEN: What is--

SOUND: Faint click.

DR. BRIGHT: Can you replace memories?

RONAN: (Offended) No! God, that’d be--

DR. BRIGHT: (Pointed) Wrong?

ADAM: You’re in no position to talk about what’s wrong.

DR. BRIGHT: You experimented on a human being with a memory eraser. How is that not wrong?

RONAN: Oh, fuck him. You told me what he does. I wouldn’t have lost sleep over frying his brain.

DR. BRIGHT: You told me you don’t lie, Ronan. (There’s no response, so she appeals to reason) ...How can you possibly explain the gap in my memories?

ADAM: Your new Patient Sixteen. Class A-10. Previously unobserved ability, for good reason.

SOUND: Paper shuffling as he shows her.

DR. BRIGHT: (Allows herself one moment of admiration) Damn.

ADAM: All memories of his presence cannot be retained after five to ten minutes. Too difficult for The AM to find. It would only be a waste of resources.

SOUND: Paper shuffling again.

ADAM: You have all your patients’ files now, ready for your meeting with Agent Green. It will surprise you when you read it, but it always does.

DR. BRIGHT: You really did think of everything, didn’t you?

ADAM: I spent a lot of time waiting during his sessions.

DR. BRIGHT: How could you convince him to do this?

RONAN: This is not on him... Bright, it’s… I don’t think that you don’t care. But The AM has your brother. People can do terrible things for someone they love.

DR. BRIGHT: No! Ronan! God, no! I would never trade you. You’re not a bargaining chip.

RONAN: I have to protect my family, too. I told you, Dr. Bright. I’m not a good person.

DR. BRIGHT: No, you’re a good person who’s hurt and scared.

SILENCE

DR. BRIGHT: (Takes a few breaths) Alright, Ronan. I can’t stop you. Before, I offered you a list of referrals. I still have them on the desk. I’m sure you saw them, Adam. You can spend as much time as you want looking into them. I’m sure you’ll find one who meets your standards. Please, Ronan. If I can’t help you, then find someone who can.

RONAN: (It’s the moment of truth and Ronan can’t bear it) ...Adam...

ADAM: Do you want me to do it?

DR. BRIGHT: Ronan, if you’re going to do this, at least look at me. You owe me that.

SILENCE

RONAN: (More resolved than resigned, but the guilt is more powerful than either) Yeah, I do.

DR. BRIGHT: Please take the list.

RONAN: Goodbye, Dr. Bright.

SOUND: Faint click. A heavy breath.

ADAM: I’ll untie them.

SOUND: Footsteps. Then silence as Adam works.

ADAM: And I’ve replaced Agent Green’s recorder. Yeah, same model. Looks like he hadn’t recorded anything before. (Breathless laugh) That’s it. This should be-- Ronan, what are you doing?

RONAN: She won’t know why she has it. We might as well take the list.

ADAM: It’s your call.

SOUND: Footsteps. Another faint click for Green.

ADAM: (Softly) Ronan.

RONAN: Yeah. I know.

SOUND: Footsteps, door closing.

ADAM: You had to do it.

RONAN: No, I didn’t.

SOUND: One kiss

ADAM: We find the secretary and then we can go home.

RONAN: Please.

**Personal notes of Dr. Bright, August 16**

DR. BRIGHT: (Distressed) Earlier today I had an-- extremely unusual meeting with Agent Green. It appears that I have-- had-- a new patient, of whom I have no memory. I don’t know if he believed it. I didn’t myself until I found my recordings and notes. I wonder how many times I’ve had this same reaction?

It seems that this Patient Sixteen has elected to leave. He achieved as much control over his abilities as he wanted, none of which I remember. In the last statement, he said he wished to put all of this behind him. I suppose he wanted to remain anonymous. I-- What’s--

SOUND: Paper shuffling

DR. BRIGHT: “Thank you.” This note wasn’t here be-- Patient Sixteen, of course. Well, whoever you are, you’re welcome.

**Voicemail of Adam Parrish, September 5**

RONAN: You’re probably getting ready for classes or some shit. I’m in a traffic jam outside of D.C. Fate and what looks like a pile up is saving me from Declan. I--

SOUND: Slamming on the horn

RONAN: (Away from the phone) Dude, what the fuck!  
(Continues calmly) I’m 90% sure I’m gonna crash when I get home. So don’t freak if you call and I don’t answer. Or if Opal answers. (Pause) I uh didn’t want to mention it before cause, you’d accuse me of going Stockholm Syndrome again and-- mostly I hadn’t made up my mind. Shoot me. I looked at Bright-- Bryant-- that doctor’s list of referrals. There are a few near you. They probably won’t check out but if they do I can just rent a place or something until I get all my shit together. It’s not bad there. Opal could get used to it.

(Takes a breath)

I can send you the list if you aren’t immediately using boyfriend veto power. If you want to argue about it do it over skype so I can see if I’m pissing you off too much.

SOUND: Car horns in the distance.

RONAN: Love you. Kick Harvard’s ass.

**Voicemail of Ronan Lynch, September 5**

ADAM: Just so you know, using the phrase “I’m gonna crash when I get home” while you’re on a road trip is not a good choice. I already knew about the therapists. I started on the list a month ago. We’ll skype tomorrow. I love you, too.


End file.
